I was thinking about last week’s Worth the Weight post, where I updated you on my recovery discovery journey from my eating disorder. That was probably the most difficult post I’ve ever written in my life. My ego was having a field day saying things like “You call yourself a spiritual teacher or a coach and this is what’s going on? Give up. Go back to corporate life.” I laughed at that voice because I know it’s total BS. But there was a part of me that didn’t want to hit the publish button – that wanted to avoid being vulnerable and avoid being seen. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I was afraid of not being accepted. And it’s now my most popular post to date.
Now, I’m not trying to toot my own horn here. But what I learned is this: When you sign up to live a spiritual life, you sign up to live a vulnerable life.
That post jump-started a major emotional detox (I’m still going through it, by the way). When I read that post after publishing it, I instantly had more compassion for myself than I’d ever had in my whole life. Instead of seeing a woman who just couldn’t get it right, I saw a woman with a shining light in her and around her, doing her very best to live a life of authenticity, love, and passion – and to share that with everyone she can. Instead of just knowing compassion, I felt it on a very deep level. And it was so freeing, my friend. So freeing.
The word COMPASS is in the word compassion. And I believe that’s because compassion is our compass. We can’t really progress in recovery discovery from anything without a hefty dose of compassion. Compassion is the compass that guides us to make loving choices in all areas of our lives. We can’t fully give to others what we are unable to give to ourselves. So, by amping up your compassion meter for yourself, you’re instantly going to be able to serve others with that same amount of compassion. And who couldn’t use a little bit more compassion? I think we all could.
Whatever it is, just make a promise to yourself to look at it with compassion. Without judgment. Regardless of who you admire, everyone – and I mean everyone – is in discovery form some sort of addiction. And it doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you unqualified to have the career you want to have. It actually makes you relatable. And when you come out of the closet with lessons that you have actually used to help yourself, you can really serve others. That’s why I’m a great coach (my clients also rule, obviously). You have to be willing to be vulnerable and go through the uncomfortable stuff in order to really step forward and become seen for who you really are. And without compassion, it won’t stick.
So, this weekend, get honest with yourself from a place of compassion. What recovery discovery journey do you still need to work on? What are you in denial of? Maybe you’ve overcome disordered eating but you’re still obsessed with what you eat and not missing a workout. Maybe you’re not as obsessed with your partner as you used to be but there is still that limiting belief sticking around saying, “I am incomplete without him or her.” Maybe you’re a perfectionist, which causes you to procrastinate on everything you do. Maybe you’re addicted to work, afraid to relax, and need to bring more rest into your life. (and no, that’s not an act of nobility…that’s called burnout). Maybe you’re reading self-help books and blogs OVER your feelings, hoping they will somehow allow you to wake up and heal. <— Trust me, loves, that one never works. I know from personal experience.
Give yourself a big compassion hug and take some time to think and write about where you could amp up your compassion meter. Compassion is your compass.