Binging

I know I've already written quite a bit about cookie dough, but I have one last thing to say about it, and then I'll be done!

The cookie dough is gone. The batch that was made on Saturday and put in the fridge to "nibble" on- gone! I'd like to be able to say that I baked the cookies and gave them to the needy. Or that I was resilient and just tossed the dough to prevent myself from binging. You know, the usual things that all those magazines tell you to do when you've got junk food in your house. But I didn't. Instead, I ate pretty much an entire batch of cookie dough in the space of four days (we're bringing a whole new meaning to Sojourner Truth's Aren't I a Woman?! If any man out there would do this, please, speak up!). I did throw out the very last bit, but honestly that's because the dough wasn't mixed completely so it was just big lumps of brown sugar at the bottom of the bowl. Somehow that's not quite as edible as when it's combined with butter and flour and chocolate chips. Yummy.

For the record, at this point either I have a stomach of steel or else salmonella poisoning is just a myth.

Binging is not good, I think we can all agree on that. But if you are going to binge, you've got to do it right (and I'm not talking here about binging on a consistent basis or anything; I'm talking about a random, infrequent binge that has nothing to do with disordered eating or anything like that. That's a whole different story).

Months ago, I wrote about how I had an enormous craving for chocolate, but was determined to stave it off so I ate smoked mussels instead. All that happened was I ate lots of other kinds of food, and then gave in and had lots of chocolate anyways. Man, did that ever backfire.

So when I was sitting in class today and trying to concentrate but found that all I could think about was cookiedoughcookiedoughcookiedough, I knew that the only way I could solve my problem was to get rid of that cookie dough. Get it out of the house. And so I did just that. By putting it in my tummy.

Mentally, this was actually a very good test for me. I was so proud of myself for not freaking out about it afterward that I really felt much better. Well, my body didn't physically feel so good. But my mind was at ease. Identifying what the problem was- having the cookie dough in the house- and then solving the problem- removing said cookie dough from the house- is an important part about figuring out our vices and dealing with them. And especially with my anxieties regarding food, this was a huge accomplishment for me to be able to do this and be calm and recognize that I can start fresh tomorrow, completely cookie dough free!

Everyone is going to have their own way of dealing with these issues. For me, this way works. I don't so much have a problem with getting these things quickly out of the house via my stomach because I know that they won't be around again for a long time. And I really, really wanted it. So I have my craving, go beyond satisfying it, feel slightly ill for having more than satisfied it, and then can put it from my mind and carry on my merry way. I think that if the cookie dough were still in the fridge I'd be distracted by it for the next week.

We talk a lot about how to physically "repair the damage" of a binge- but what about mentally? It's always been the mental aspect that has been my main problem. I'd inwardly be kicking myself for something like this and be so anxious and ashamed that I would just feel awful for a long time. But I seem to be moving past these mental obstacles. And it's a good thing, too, because I don't think I could physically take any more testing- my head is hurting quite enough as it is from all that sugar! Am hoping my arteries aren't too clogged with butter, either:)

What are your tips for handling these kinds of situations? How do you mentally prepare for them, and how do you mentally deal with it after the fact?