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A Tree Cannot Stand Alone

Posted Dec 08 2013 8:29am

I’ve been M.I.A. for really a good part of this year—I know!  I’ve kept a lot to myself, except for a few close friends (Pam being one—and thank you Pam for taking the reins on the blogging while I’ve been away).  Back at the end of March, The Hubs, who works as a systems consultant for a company that has part of its headquarters here in Rhode Island, was told said company was consolidating its IT group and relocating all IT divisions across the country to North Carolina.  Needless to say, that after making it through the worst of the layoffs during the recession and numerous corporate outsourcings unscathed, we were shocked to hear this news.  Everyone was given the option of interviewing for their positions and relocating to North Carolina or taking a layoff when the relocation happens.  With very little solid answers during most the year—like WHEN does the move happen if we were to decide to relocate, it caused a great deal of stress in my life.  It should go without saying that we I (because let’s face it, The Hubs deals with these things better than me with my Type-A personality) have been in self-preservation mode—trying to come up with a game plan.  The question loomed for much of the year, do we relocate and leave all of our family and friends, but move to a location that from all my research and discussions with friends who live in North Carolina, has a better overall quality of life than where we currently live, or do we start the job search and try and stay local?  There are gives and takes with each and my mind has been swimming—as have my emotions.  One of my good friends asked me a while back if I’d consider opening up about it instead of keeping it on the DL in hopes that maybe talking about it would get some of the weight off my shoulders.  Maybe I’d get more advice or even positive vibes from other people.  I had dismissed it initially like I always do when it comes to me putting myself out there in a vulnerable manner, but now that the difficult decision has been made, I reevaluated my initial dismissal and decided to share a little bit of why I have disappeared.

A tree is not strongest when it stands alone--one of my favorite views along my running route in Bristol, RI.

A tree is not strongest when it stands alone–one of my favorite views along my running route in Bristol, RI.

Part of being a Full Plate Mom is learning and accepting that not everything is going to go according to plan (much to the chagrin of said Type-A personality) and that you need to put a critical eye on the events and noise that are in and around your life and decide which things are to take priority—and when I did that, blogging simply wasn’t one of those priorities.  But being a Full Plate Mom also means that a tree is strongest when it is within a forest of other trees—it can withstand the heavy winds better than when it is standing alone in an open field.  So, today, I am no longer a lonesome tree.  I am now looking around to see that there are many, many other trees that are around me and my family.  I will share more details as decisions are made and life progresses.  Pam, who we all know if pretty awesome, has agreed to continue to take the reigns and allow me the time I need until life settles down.  However, two things come to mind as I write this—one, The Hubs said to me after I had a rough day at work—to paraphrase, “I have the best family and as long as I have them with me it doesn’t matter where we are because I will be happy there.”  With a guy like that at my side, I know things will be okay and work out how they are intended.  The second thing that comes to mind is from Bill Rancic.  The other night I was watching Giuliana & Bill , and Bill said, “As long as home is where your heart is, you will never be homeless.”  While Giuliana’s response was classic tongue-in-cheek, the sentiment was not lost on me.  Similar to what The Hubs said, home isn’t the location in which you live—home is where your loved ones are and where you make memories with those loved ones.  Rhode Island will always be home to me, but I will make new friends in North Carolina (and already have some built-in ones from Team Tough Chik , like my dear, dear friend Jolene), and there will be plenty of memories to make with my family there and in time North Carolina will also be come home.  So, thanks for hanging in there with me and I hope you’ll continue to hang in there when life is back to “normal” early next year.


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