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A Thousand Years

Posted Jul 22 2013 7:00am

A thousand years ago, I met a boy. A guy. A man. It's hard to tell when you're 18.

I made him work for my attention because I had thick walls around my heart. Some of them are still there, but he got around them eventually. Sort of quickly, actually. He's got skills.

He won, I guess.

Well, I won.

We both feel pretty lucky, and that works out well when you're committed to living out life together.

It doesn't make life easy, but maybe richer. Free-er. When you know there's another person who will love you always, no matter what, some chains are broken.

A thousand years later, I have TWO heart-stealing guys in my life: my husband and my son. I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest woman alive.

There was a while there when the three of us were mostly sleeping through the night and spending much of our evenings and weekends together. There was a LOT of laughing and playing and soaking up life. You guys, I loved my life. I was a big pile of gush.

(Of course there were spots I did NOT love, but I'm not here to talk about those today.)

Money was really tight (I laughed inside when I was given tips on things like how to eat out more cheaply; we couldn't eat out at all or really do anything non-essential), so we lived super frugally, but I didn't care. I had everything I really wanted: a healthy family, a job I love, great friends. I was rich, as far as I was concerned.

There is still all of that, except.

Eventually my bubble had to be popped. Because as frugal as we were, our lives weren't sustainable. We have to work quite a bit more to make ends meet, to pay bills, to avoid credit card debt.

I missed my simple, happy little life.

I really did. I wanted it back, even if it meant never getting to go on vacation or all my jeans having holes in them or having to eat mostly rice and beans and peanut butter.

I didn't get it back. I might not ever get the same life that I loved so much.

But what I did get is a stronger relationship with my husband because we had to work as a team more than ever. I learned how to better accept help that was offered and be honest about myself and all the processing I was (am!) doing- and I got some really rich friendships during the process.

Tim and I have said to each other that we know that when we get out of this particularly tight spot in life, we'll be glad to have gone through it. I don't think we're quite done, but I am already glad for it.

Really. Truly.

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