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A better job...

Posted Jul 21 2009 10:32pm
Well, after the comments on the oral sex post from last week, I have asked a few of my readers to contribute their thoughts to a better blow job. And how to give a woman good oral too!


The best BJ I ever got was from a woman who first licked her hand and started giving me a handjob. She then alternated between her hand and mouth, and she was so silky smooth, I really couldn't tell when she was doing what. She used her mouth for moisture and feather light touches, and her hand for pressure and feather light touches. One key is that I didn't feel like she was trying to get me off. If a woman does that, it becomes mechanical, and she becomes impatient if I take my time cumming. Instead, I felt like she was worshipping my cock. That's different than craving it. Craving it is all about her. Worshipping it is all about my cock and my orgasm.

btw - deep throating is overrated. It's a parlor trick. If a woman takes me deep in her throat and swallows around my cock to massage it, it's a nice feeling. But it's just a stunt.

Silky smooth cock worship is the key for me.


I love to tease slowly. I enjoy exploring a man's body from the top down. I take my time with the face, neck, ears, chest, abdomen, upper thighs and sometimes even down to the toes.

I use my hair, my mouth, my breasts, my hands and my tongue to discover every inch of pleasure.

Once I get to his cock, I might slide my lips over it, as a tease. I will lower my face into the area between his upper thighs and nibble or breathe warmly on the area. I love to look up and see a man's face waiting in anticipation of what will happen next.

I like to hover above while my breasts tantalize the growing stiffness. I will kiss the head and slowly lick down the sides of his cock until his hips are practically rising to meet my mouth. Then I get wet. My mouth and my pussy.

I prefer to make the entire blowjob a very wet experience. I will take a man into my throat just to get my salivary glands working overtime. I love to get a man's cock so wet that my hands slide down easily over it and my saliva drips all the way down to his balls.

I love to take each ball in my mouth and suck tenderly or softly, depending on what my lover enjoys. I have been with men who also enjoy having their perineum licked or sucked. Some men even enjoy having their assholes licked and/or fingered. Everybody is different.

Pay attention. Ask your lover what they enjoy. And remember that not every man can cum from oral sex so don't get frustrated.


Giving BJ’s definitely turns me on. And I think a guy can tell when you’re really into it or just performing a “favor”. I get really worked up and wet getting him off like that and then can’t wait to feel him inside me. I climax vaginally so I will usually give a BJ before we have sex as foreplay (no cumming) so I can have the hardest, thickest – 1st cum cock, or I will give him one after we had sex (and he’s had time to “recover”). Sometimes tho a BJ is just a BJ but it always makes me want him inside me.

I use my hands on the shaft while I suck his cock, lick his head, and also play a bit with the twins…I move my body in rhythm aching to have him inside me (cuz I can’t help myself) and I put some mild pressure on the taint as he cums.

Seems to be appreciated…

Oh, and receiving? Hmmm. Only a couple guys have done that well, my last bf included. I don’t climax that way usually (since again it just makes me want his cock inside me) but it still feels damn good and is great foreplay. I think a woman needs to be comfortable and confident with herself to truly enjoy it – no inhibitions. When I was younger I was too self conscious but now I know better and let myself thoroughly enjoy it. A man that can do that well is a keeper.


Giving oral to a woman:
- Focus on the clit. Keep mental notes of when she squirms or makes a noise.
- Don't attack it unless she wants you to. Start it in a steady motion.
- Don't focus too much on that specific area, but repeatedly go back to it.
- Unless the pace picks up, there's no need to attack the pussy with your mouth AND fingers.
- Insertion needs to be a focused task. Don't just shove a finger in there unless the pussy and/or your finger is adequately lubricated.
- Tongue action is key. Again...focus on how she reacts to what you're doing. If there isn't any reaction, don't be afraid to ask at a later date what she enjoys.

Receiving oral from a woman:
- Wetter is better.
- Firm grips don't always mean more pleasure.
- Steady strokes with both the hands and the mouth.
- Remember the mouth needs to feel like a pussy, only with the added stimulation of the moving hand.


I've always been complimented on my oral skills by my lovers. I love giving's such an intimate act between lovers, involving trust on both sides. I love being able to please my partner in this way. I love everything about it - the look, the feel, the taste...performing oral ALWAYS gets me hot and wet, fast. And in case you're wondering - yes - I swallow. Guys love that.

I think that the key is to keep it interesting, not the same way every time. Sometimes I just grab his cock and dive right in, when he might not necessarily be expecting it. Other times I'll tease him for a good long time before actually taking him into my mouth. "The tease" is always my favourite approach and never fails to get me wet. I like to start with him sitting, and me kneeling on the floor. At first I won't even touch him, I'll just look up into his eyes, and let him see how much I want him, how much I'm going to enjoy pleasing him. Then I will begin teasing him with my hair, letting it hang down, brushing the insides of his thighs, against his cock, but not touching him any other way...

I'll lift my head and look up at him again, usually with a naughty smile, so he knows that I plan to continue with my teasing. At this point I might take his cock in my hand (it's always rock hard at this point) and bring my mouth close to it...close enough so that when I part my lips he can feel my hot breath, desperately wanting to feel my mouth on him. My tongue flicks out against the tip, lightly at first, and then increasing in pressure. I'll slide my tongue up and down the sides of his cock, still not taking him all the way into my mouth. I'm usually able to tell by the sounds escaping his lips that he wants more. This is when I finally part my lips and slide him slowly into my mouth, as far as I can take him. That's when the blow job really begins.

I think it's important when giving oral to pay attention to your lover. He will let you know what he likes most with his breathing, his moaning, his gasps, his body movements. When I've found something that he likes, then I'm sure to do it again and again, while still making it interesting by varying the tempo, the pressure, the depth of my thrusts. Never underestimate the power of using your hand as an extension of your mouth. It does wonders. Also - eye contact. I always make sure that every now and again I look up at him while I've got his cock in my mouth - I know how much that turns him on...and it turns ME on, knowing that it's making him hot.

Also, I think people need to just have fun with it! For the first time ever we incorporated ice cubes into our oral play - I would slip one into my mouth for a few seconds to cool everything off, before sliding my mouth down over him. It made for a fun and interesting experience for both of us, and we'll definitely be doing it again. Oral doesn't have to be this big serious thing, it can be playful and fun, too...and should be!

When it comes to receiving, for me, it's all about the particular talent of my lover. I've had past lovers that just didn't understand the "art" of giving oral, and for me, it just didn't make for a magical experience. I'm lucky that my current lover is exceptionally talented in that area. He pays attention to the cues that I give (involuntary ones, I might add) and uses that to determine whether to keep going with something that he's doing, or to try something else. Another reason why he's so good is that he understands that keeping it interesting is important. Vary the tempo, the position. Use a finger or two now and again.

For me, receiving oral is more of a "warm up" for sex. Don't get me wrong, I love it when a guy goes down on me. But personally, there's nothing like the feeling of his cock inside me. Usually before I even get close to cumming, I grab him, pull him up, and beg him to enter me.

And when it comes to 69, I have to admit that I'm not really a fan...simply because I like to be able to concentrate on what I'm doing - either laying back and enjoying the talents of my lover, or focusing on making HIM feel good. When we're both giving and receiving at the same time it's not always easy to be able to do that.



And on that note, I hope everybody learned something!

Feel free to continue the conversation below.

You know... in the comments.
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