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” at least you’re not a dead cat stuck in the drain…”

Posted Dec 04 2010 7:27pm

All I remember is Boyfriend telling me JUST on Sunday night, “if you ever break down, never try to hit the gas and turn the key, the car has fuel injection and you’ll flood something something, blah blah doo dooo dooooo (my eyes glazed over at this point). But that is the first thing I remembered, don’t touch the gas. And since my alternator died, my battery was drained…and I couldn’t even put on my hazards. So I knew trying to pump the gas to start it wasn’t the problem.

SO a state trooper came over and asked if I was alright…

I already had on some serious cry face (what is it with us women, the moment our car can’t move, we’re blubbering vulnerable baby-heads), and he told me to stay put.

He gets his cruiser, throws on the lights, has to drive all the way down the opposite direction so he can ‘bang a U-ee’ , then pulls up behind me and tells me to put my car in Neutral. I put it in Neutral… And the conversation went like so…

Me: I can’t turn the WHEEEEEEEL!!” (sob sob…. WAAAAAAH, sob)

Statie: It’s because you have power steering, and your battery is dead. It will turn once I push you with my car.

(he starts pushing his cruiser against my bumper… I’m not moving. He gets out of the car and comes over to my window)

Statie: Ma’am…. is your foot on the brake?

Me: Um……. yes.

Statie: (laughs) Ma’am… get your foot of the brake…..

Ok. We’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an dumb little girl who doesn’t understand cars.

I pull off the road, call AAA (thank the LORD I just put the card in my wallet 2 weeks ago)  tow truck comes in about an hour…

Tow Truck Man: Ok, we need to put the car in the other direction, you get in and steer and I’ll push you from the hood. Put the car in Neutral.

Me: OK! Got it! (he starts to push… and we’re not moving!!!!!)

Tow Truck Man: Ma’am… get your foot on the damn brake!!


Ok… Tow truck man is ready to hook my car up..he tells me to jump in his truck and backs his fork lifter thingy under my cars front tires… and now..

….. my car is moving backwards into traffic…

Tow Truck Man: (HUUUUGE SIGH)…. Did you put you car back into park??

Me: NOOOO!!! (WAAAAAAAAAAAH, sob sob sob)

Tow Truck Man: It’s ok, stay here. (he jumps out, and runs to my car and throws it into park…..)

Well my car is hooked, we drive over to my work which just so happens my super awesome co-worker is mechanic and puts my alternator in…and my car is safe and ready to drive by the time I leave work. He knows I’m having a bad week and shows me a picture on his phone….and says “hey, if you think you’re having a bad day, look at this” (it’s a picture of a dead cat stuck in the drain near our office building) EWWW, why did you show me this??

Co-worker: “Well, at least you’re not a dead cat stuck in the drain?”

 True. Gross… but true.

This makes me think of something else to add to my 2011 Dezolutions….‘Learn about Car Crap….’

My Bad Day doesn’t end there… mind you, it began with, ahem… LADY TIME…. and after the car incident… I get a big huge cup of coffee and proceed to spill it ALL over my 100pg report I just created.

The rest of the week consisted of:

- Wrong RX’s at the pharmacy
- Donation book pick up never came (which included lugging 70 books up and down the stairs twice)
- No Heat on Friday
- A certain layoff that affected my immediate family
- Days and days of missed meals (stress related)
- Didn’t have enough cash to get out of the cash-only garage…which involved me coming BACK the next day to pay them back, even though I wasn’t going to be in that area.
- My poor mother threw out her back and couldn’t take to the dentist friday and frantically tried to find an alternate ride ( I was being sedated and couldn’t drive myself)
- I had a stupid tiff with one my bff’s and had not reached a resolution yet, and decided to meet this weekend
- Prepare for my first belt test for taekwondo next wednesday… and oh yeah, I need to learn some conversational korean…in 7 days.
- Realized I probably won’t be able to afford taekwondo class for a while (thanks car…)

THEN…. Friday… Root Canal day.

Was actually the best part of my week. They gave me something to calm me down before I came in.. THEN gave me nitrous gas DURING…needless to say, I was high as a kite. It was like a mini-vacation. With a 200lb man pummeling my jaw and inserting rods and making me bleed….was a WALK in the park compared to the rest of the week.

Though fully conscious, I didn’t have a spare second to even worry about my intense fear of the dentist. Perhaps a blessing in disguise? I was so worried about BEING worried about the dentist… that everything else bogged me down I didn’t have a moment to worry about it.

And #25 is officially complete…. I finally fixed the broken tooth from 18 months ago…

And my dentist is amazing. Their whole staff are wonderful people. Yes, it cost more than my entire months salary, but it was worth every 135 minutes of  my inebriated blissful torture vacation.

 My face may feel like this….

 Worth It.





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