I woke up this morning feeling alone. Very much alone with a cat three inches from my face, but alone. I decided I must GET OUT of my apartment no matter what. I didn’t want to sit at home watching Indiana Jones movies yet again.
I decided to go into Boston and just roam around. It felt like the right thing to do even though lots of people around, I still felt alone. It was something I could not shake.
I roamed around Barnes & Noble for a while. It is a new habit of mine to find books and scan them into Goodreads on my phone to get them from the library or through Amazon. I could go through stacks of books and spend all day doing that.
I bought more clothing and a purse with a coupon. Feeling shitty shopping should be banned.
My five things tonight and things I should have done when I feel lonely.
1. Get a cup of coffee and actually sit in a coffee shop.
Even sitting reading drinking a latte, watching people, would have been a good day. I meet some interesting people that way. Sometimes people are compelled to talk to me when I am sitting, reading while drinking coffee.
2. Taken a walk
After getting the coffee, I could have taken a walk. I live near the beach and it is about a 15 minute walk from my apartment. It was a gorgeous day here in Boston. I did walk this afternoon from Copley Square to Park Street station.
3. Call a friend.
I have never been a phone talker. I am not one to call someone just to talk. Maybe I should have. A friendly voice would have been welcome today.
4. Visit the library
The library in my city is awesome. It is one of the best libraries around. I could roam about for a long time. I have my list of books to get on my phone and I could have looked around for a long time.
5. Visit Dad.
I have been avoiding my family specifically my Dad. I don’t know why. I don’t want him to see me depressed. We will talk about the past and then I will leave more depressed. Though he would have liked to have seen me and if he is feeling ok, he would not have talked about the past and I would have felt better. I am sure.
I went to see Mom yesterday so there was no need to go today. She was sleeping when I was there. She is usually sleeping and I just sit and watch her. I talk to her softly so I won’t wake her up.