#1 Sure I sound like a dying cat when I sing, but…
Posted Apr 07 2010 12:00am
I can’t believe I did my #1 goal so early… I thought it would take me months to build up the courage.
It started in NYC. I was visiting my friends, going to the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA, going to fancy dinners and dancing etc…then my bff said I have a surprise for you. Clearly, I’m very excited. We get to MoMA and then I’m prodding for some hints…she finally breaks down and says “It’s something else you can cross off your list”. It takes me 2 seconds and I realized she means karaoke.
SUPER EXCITED AND THRILLED!?? Hell.NO.
I was FURIOUS with her!! I instantly pull a hissy and start pouting (hey, I didnt say I was mature). My bff’s try to convince me its not karaoke. But we’ve been friends for WAY too long to know when they’re lying. Dana finally tells me to knock it off, because the 6 other people we were with wanted to do it and I was being a huge baby. And I was.
Why was I SO furious at my best friend for trying to help me with my goal?? Because I wanted to do it on my time. Build the courage to get up there and do it. I hadn’t ‘practice’ singing. I hadn’t picked the perfect song. I was in a GIANT city and god knows how many people I would have to sing in front of. I didn’t know the atmosphere we were going to. Basically, just plain ole fear.
And there was a traumatic event when I was 9yrs old involving a Janet Jackson song ‘I Miss You Much’. At a local kids carnivale, all the little kids were getting up in groups singing together. I was too shy to join them. So my family convinced me to get up there and sing alone. To me, it was this HUGE thing, my family were all supporting me.
Well needless to say, I got up there. And bombed….and everyone made fun of me….ESPECIALLY my family, the very ones who told me to get up there in the first place. I had to listen to aunts, cousins, parents, brother, friends – all mocking my tone deaf version of ‘i miss you much’. And the constant reminders over the years of how bad of a singer I am. I get it… I swore off singing in public ever again. I held on to that grudge for 18yrs. And it being my #1 goal, meant I was ready to give it up.
So all these negative feelings start flooding back to me and I was SO mad that this could possibly be happening again. Being convinced they would support me…then being made fun of once I let my guard down. But….a few things have changed since I was 9. I’ve conquered many scary things in my days. And…a cocktail or two certainly changes things And the fact I could read faster helps.
We walk into PULSE in Times Square. Luckily, it was small. But it still had PEOPLE in it. People that could point and laugh at me. Jane assures me “Hey girl, if you don’t want to do it, no one is gonna make you. No anxiety, no worries. Just have fun, watch us, and if you want to do it later, than just do it” Dana quickly said the same thing “No pressure, just relax and have fun honey!” This assurance made me feel a LOT better….
And so did having the option to rent our own private room!!!?? Thats exactly what we did. After watching all my friends pick out songs and have a great time jumping around and dancing and singing and laughing…as I sat in the corner and watched them have fun.
What the crap was I DOING? I can’t hold a microphone and sing some words that are in front of me on a giant screen? Then I flash forward to the future…I would look back and totally regret not joining in. And this was a perfect set up. In front of people I knew, in a private room.
About 4 songs in, KIDS – MGMT starts and Dana walks over and puts the microphone in my face. And I open my mouth….and start singing. Then I grab the mic…stand up on the chairs, and get all DIVA with it. Everyone cheers and claps…and I have conquered my fear of public singing. And it was such a HUGE rush of adrenaline, I couldn’t be happier with Dana and Jane pulling this off….And as long as I’ve known them…they’ve known me too. And they knew this would be a perfect way to get me to cross off my #1 goal.
(this is the 1st song, KIDS- MGMT)
I then select my own song….Tell Me Something Good – Rufus ft. Chaka Khan
I ended with Jay Z ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’. Yes… I rapped. And I’m awesome. (I’m not, but I think I am)
SO….this wraps up my #1 goal. To finally get over tha ridiculous fear. I was so proud, I told my boyfriend…and his response? “Thats not real karaoke, you sang in front of 6 of your friends in a private room”. (Sigh)….
Looks like I’m gonna have to try again! But this time, I’m sure it will be much easier
AND IT STILL COUNTS
A special thanks to: Dana, Jane, Debbie, Jenny, Cuteface & Matt.
PS: It was Jenny’s first time at karaoke too…it was good to have a first-timer with me. We did it Jenny!!!