So, a lot of people have asked me how I went from being 235 pounds and pre-diabetic to having my new completely and totally *wait for it* AVERAGE body.

(That I’m happy with).

I could go into detail all of the changes I’ve made, the things I’ve eaten, not eaten, the failures and the victories, blah blah… I could do that.  BUT instead, I’m going to do something better.  I am going to tell you all my secrets.

If you apply these secrets, you will become awesome.

Secret #1 – When you wake up, and your day begins, as soon as you touch the ground with your feet, this song must play and become the soundtrack to everything you do:

When I wake up, I roll out of bed and it is as though my floor is a play button that can only be activated by coming into contact with my feet.  When it’s activated, this song plays as the soundtrack to everything I do, and so everything I do is automatically legendary.

With this secret in full effect, I’m no longer just driving to work, or taking out the garbage, or exercising.  I am wielding a chainsaw and slaying demons from Mars.  That’s right.  Demons… from Mars.

Secret #2 – Assume your royal position as judge, jury, and executioner… OF YOUR CALORIES.

Sentence the calories to death by fire.

Secret #3 – Look at Leland Sklar’s beard, and channel his patience.

Secret #4 – Put on a top hat and wear a tailcoat… and naysay the naysayers.

The top hat and tailcoat are of utmost importance.

Secret #5 – Forget all of this “eye of the tiger” crap… THE EYE OF SAURON!

Eye of the Sauron > Eye of the tiger.