As I mentioned earlier, as soon as my lipid panel results were in, I would post them. Let me begin with the ones that will rile the fatphobic to a howling frenzy:
My total cholesterol is 240, and according to current thought, should be <200. My LDL, the "bad" cholesterol, is 140, and "should be" <100.
At first glance, one would assume that I was going to go out like fireworks from a heart attack, any moment now, and golly, I'd better stock up on statin drugs. You know what people say about one who assumes. Ahem... That being said, let me continue, now that the noise has died down:
My triglycerides, an important predictor of heart disease, were 77. Doctors want it under 140. My HDL, the "good" cholesterol, is 85, and should be >40.
What do my numbers actually mean? If both my total cholesterol and triglycerides were high, I would be a heart attack on legs. But they're not. If my total cholesterol was high and my HDL were low, I would, again, be a heart attack on legs. But, there are 2 types of LDL cholesterol: Dense little BBs, and giant fluffy particles.
When the triglycerides are high, as well as the LDL, it indicates that the LDL in the bloodstream is composed of the harmful "BB" type. This particular "brand" of LDL is the one that infiltrates inflamed artery walls and causes plaque build-up and heart disease. When the triglycerides are low, the LDL is made up of happy, fluffy particles, which float around the blood stream, flashing the peace sign and doing no harm to anyone. Based on my readings, I have Happy Hippie LDL. Wow, man. The Bionic Broad out.