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The Christmas Recap That Wasn’t.

Posted Dec 27 2009 8:02pm

So…guess who forgot her camera at her aunt’s house on Christmas?  Yes, that would be yours truly.  Oy.  So, that means that you’ll have to wait for my Christmas recap- it’ll be a good one.  For a while there, we sorta had a Von Trapp-esque thing going on (in the words of my Uncle Brian), but a good time was had by all.  And the eats?  Oh.my.foodie.god. It was unreal.  I should be getting my camera back on Weds. and will fill you in, then.  In the meantime, check out two new recipes: Gingered Pumpkin Soup and a ridiculously easy grown up grilled cheese!

I’m pleased to report that I successfully baked and frosted my very first cake all by my lonesome :)  Go, me!  It was a pumpkin spice cake with caramel cream cheese frosting, and I must say, it was absolutely perfect.   After the first bite, I forgot about all the trauma that had ensued in its creation (for instance, screaming at my step-dad to come in and check bc I didn’t know if it was done- the first five times I stuck the toothpick in the middle it came out clean, but on the sixth- batter magically appeared! W.T.H.?!) My mom made a very dense chocolate yule log and there were about 8 different kinds of cookies, so the lightness of the cake and the taste of the frosting made for a really nice contrast.  The best part was that I think I even impressed my family, who I always think of as my toughest critics.  Woo-hoo!

This will be a short post, but tomorrow night, hopefully, i’ll have a terrific recap for you.  Tomorrow is my birthday.  That’s right- a quarter of a century, halfway to 50, 25 years old! To mark the occasion and in an effort to make sure I have a good birthday for a change, my mom is taking me to NYC to go to Mood Fabrics- you know, the place where the Project Runway peeps shop!  I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!  I wasn’t letting myself get excited because I wasn’t sure it would happen and my birthday usually ends up kinda sucking (it’s an afterthought after the holidays, and most of the time, I just get presents after dessert on Christmas), but I think this might be the year!  I’ll take lots of pictures and be sure to come back with a great post :) .

I want to say that my mom has been absolutely amazing this year for my birthday.  She threw me a surprise birthday dinner last weekend and cooked my absolute favorite meal, and served it on a beautifully set table covered in a red tablecloth she bought for the event bc it’s my favorite color!  She even had a bottle of champagne so I could pop the cork!  How amazing is that??

Colorhungry mama made this for me! She does cakes- isn't it beautiful?!

This is Colorhungry mama a couple of months ago. Yes. That is a cabbage hat on her head. She came running into the living room one day and said, "This looks just like the hats that girl had on her runway show on Project Runway! She cracks me up. And yes, she said I could put this picture on my blog. Good sport, isn't she?

On a more serious note…I keep thinking as the year comes to a close- this isn’t how I thought it would end.  Not by a long shot.  I mean, I am not the type of person to think that things are set in stone and that I must have a plan.  I know that life doesn’t always (or even often) work out the way that we think it will.  I guess it’s the way that you deal with the hand you are dealt that shapes how your life is and will be.  I’m dealing with a really confusing and painful situation right now and there are a million things going through my mind.  Questions are left unanswered- things I’m afraid to ask or even know the answers to.  And sometimes, the hardest thing is realizing that there are no answers.

But there’s one thing that I do know.  I am in charge of my own happiness.  I am in charge of the choices that I make.  And it’s ok to be sad.  It’s ok to be confused and hurt and in pain.  But it’s not ok to let it take over my life.  It’s not ok to let it get in the way of moving forward and going where I need to go and being who I need to be.  I don’t know what this New Year will bring, but what I will bring to it is a little more self awareness.  I WILL be ok.  I WILL get through this.  I WILL be stronger.    And for all intents and purposes, in the same way that I must make peace with what is happening and has happened in my life…I WILL learn to make peace with and love my body.  And what better way to reinforce that than FINALLY coming back to my Baby Steps to Body Love Challenge with Challenge #6?

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