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The 5 Love Gremlins, by Heather Gray (

Posted Feb 06 2011 8:52am

How’s the romance with YOURSELF going?

Are you giving yourself the OXYGEN first?  We all know that a healthy romance actually starts with You.

Did you know that there are Love Gremlins who will wreak mischief on your ability to BE a loving soul?  The following are my top 5 Love Gremlins.  Ready? Let me introduce you…

#1 The People Pleaser

This gremlin will insist that you attempt to please everyone. Your energy is on “them” and guessing at what will make “them” happy. You often say yes when your heart begs no.

#2 Holding onto Bitterness

We all suffer from experiences in our lives that cause us to suffer. And some require healing, therapy and personal growth. But this gremlin acts like a broken record, re-hashing your victim hood and keeping the old wounds alive. It takes a brave-hearted soul to let go of past hurts, but the reward is self-love and moving on.

#3 Energy Zappers

An energy-zapping gremlin is anything that lowers your energy and thus decreases your life force. Often you become so used to living with your zappers that you are not conscious of their effect on your life.  Some examples of zappers might be:

Fluorescent lit rooms with no windows
Junk food
Watching excessive television
Always feeling exhausted after having been with a particular person
Drinking too much alcohol
Not telling the truth

#4 Filling your schedule with SHOULD’s

The ‘should’ gremlin has no appreciation for what you are getting accomplished and offers a never-ending barrage of what still ‘should’ be getting done. You’ll know this gremlin is on your back if you are indulging in busyness on a consistent basis, doing a task you don’t enjoy, and working all the time without taking time to rest and rejuvenate.

#5 Running on Empty

This gremlin will insist that you “push” through your tasks without refueling your energy tanks with self-care.   The result? Your ability to love gracefully gets replaced by a short-circuiting, exhausted, and moody version of yourself.

The good news is that all 5 gremlins melt away when confronted with large doses of “Self-Love.”

Your Self-Love Challenge.

Repeat after me:  Instead of indulging my love gremlins, I make myself a priority by…

Filling my energy tanks with my favorite self-care rewards.  This can be as simple as spending $4 on a gorgeous magazine that inspires you or pausing for a cup of hot cocoa.
Replacing 2 of my energy zappers with energy juicers.  For example, if your energy is “zapped” by excessive time on the computer, then walk away from the technology for an hour.  Replace that time with something that’s juicy for you (perhaps a walk in nature or your favorite physical activity.)
I will take at least one “should” off my to do list.  I dare you. See if the world comes to a hault. I bet it doesn’t. ☺
I will forgive someone or something from my past by letting go.  Some favorite resources to help you:  Zero Limits by Joe Vitale, A Course in Miracles, and A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.

What’s your experience with love gremlins?  Do you have a favorite remedy?  Please share with us by submitting a comment below.

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