In the recovery process, there are markers—psychological shifts—that indicate progress towards “normal” eating. Just as children must achieve development milestones, so must eaters who are journeying from dysfunction to function. If you’re wondering how you need to change to recover, here are some markers to look for.
The first marker is true acceptance that your way of eating is unsound and unhealthy. If you’re ambivalent about how destructive your eating is, your internal conflicts will play out in your behavior. But if you wholeheartedly believe that learning to eat “normally” is exactly what you need to do to get over your food problems, then you’ll be able to put 100% of your psychic energy into the process (though the journey will still be long and arduous). A second marker is accepting that diets and restriction are not the answer to disordered eating. Some problem eaters have known this for years and still have difficulty giving up chronic deprivation; others have hated every minute of dieting and are so overjoyed to find a better way of relating to food, that they know for certain they’ll never diet again.
A third marker is recognizing how slow and painful the transformation process will be (though there will be positive changes along the way). When you finally, unequivocally accept that no person or program is going to do it for you, that your efforts will produce setbacks and achievements, that the process will frustrate you and try your patience like it’s never been tried before, that the work is now and the pay off comes later, you will have reached a mental place where you can buckle down and do what’s needed.
A fourth marker is acknowledging the amount of non-eating self-work you have to do to become a “normal” eater. When you understand that your problems are as much about emotions and beliefs as about eating behaviors, you’re on your way. Because we live in a culture that focuses exclusively on transforming eating through behavior, it may come as a shock to find that food is the least of your problems. You may need to alter a good deal about yourself regarding maintaining boundaries, regulating feelings, asserting needs, changing relationships, achieving intimacy, and upping your self-esteem. You may have to deal with trauma and/or other painful childhood issues.
You will encounter many other markers along the way. Perhaps you’ve passed by some already in the progress you’ve made. Celebrate markers. Recognizing them is a way to enjoy the work you’ve accomplished and prepare yourself for what lays ahead.
PLEASE NOTE: I encourage you to comment on my blogs and will do my best to address topics/questions you raise in my future blogs. Unfortunately, I can’t provide individual responses due to time constraints.
In the recovery process, there are markers—psychological shifts—that indicate progress towards “normal” eating. Just as children must achieve development milestones, so must eaters who are journeying from dysfunction to function. If you’re wondering how you need to change to recover, here are some markers to look for.
The first marker is true acceptance that your way of eating is unsound and unhealthy. If you’re ambivalent about how destructive your eating is, your internal conflicts will play out in your behavior. But if you wholeheartedly believe that learning to eat “normally” is exactly what you need to do to get over your food problems, then you’ll be able to put 100% of your psychic energy into the process (though the journey will still be long and arduous). A second marker is accepting that diets and restriction are not the answer to disordered eating. Some problem eaters have known this for years and still have difficulty giving up chronic deprivation; others have hated every minute of dieting and are so overjoyed to find a better way of relating to food, that they know for certain they’ll never diet again.
A third marker is recognizing how slow and painful the transformation process will be (though there will be positive changes along the way). When you finally, unequivocally accept that no person or program is going to do it for you, that your efforts will produce setbacks and achievements, that the process will frustrate you and try your patience like it’s never been tried before, that the work is now and the pay off comes later, you will have reached a mental place where you can buckle down and do what’s needed.
A fourth marker is acknowledging the amount of non-eating self-work you have to do to become a “normal” eater. When you understand that your problems are as much about emotions and beliefs as about eating behaviors, you’re on your way. Because we live in a culture that focuses exclusively on transforming eating through behavior, it may come as a shock to find that food is the least of your problems. You may need to alter a good deal about yourself regarding maintaining boundaries, regulating feelings, asserting needs, changing relationships, achieving intimacy, and upping your self-esteem. You may have to deal with trauma and/or other painful childhood issues.
You will encounter many other markers along the way. Perhaps you’ve passed by some already in the progress you’ve made. Celebrate markers. Recognizing them is a way to enjoy the work you’ve accomplished and prepare yourself for what lays ahead.
Best,
Karen
www.eatingnormal.com
www.squidoo.com/eatnormalnow
PLEASE NOTE: I encourage you to comment on my blogs and will do my best to address topics/questions you raise in my future blogs. Unfortunately, I can’t provide individual responses due to time constraints.