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My GFCF low-carb kitchen

Posted Sep 12 2008 12:11pm

Yesterday I received my first ever order from Beretta Farms - a big, happy box of organic, pastured meat. It was a carnivore's christmas, a frozen flesh-a-palooza, and I am now well-stocked with all the dead animal I could want. But as my inner huntress danced her thanksgiving dance to Diana, I realized I'd have to...*shudder*...organize my freezer.

Oh, who am I kidding. I LOVE organizing my freezer! Hell, I love organizing my whole kitchen! I'm a happy gal when all the tins in my cupboard are facing forward. I love a lined veggie crisper. I thrive on designing new groupings for condiments (by frequency of use, ethnic origin, colour etc). So off I went, tra la la, to exercise my OCD (Organizational Compulsion Disorder).

Then I got to thinking. As I mentioned in another post, one of the most frequent questions people ask when changing their way of eating (WOE), be it to low-carb or gluten-free or what have you, is "What do I eat?" I decided to ask that of myself: what do I eat? What's in my kitchen? And thus, I share with thee. Behold!

Large Freezer

Prime Rib roast, organic (org), 4.4 lbs
Stewing beef, org, 1 lb
Stir-fry beef, org, 2 lb
Top sirloin steak, org, 3 lb
Beef tongue, org, 3 lbs,
ordered in a fit of culinary adventurousness, though now its very presence frightens me.
Ground beef, org, 3lbs
Beef short ribs
3 beef livers
Inside blade steak

Bunch of other steaks
I hacked off a roast from Costco and froze in my nifty vaccuum sealer
Soup bones, beef
Oxtail, org, 2lbs
Ground pork, org, 2lbs
. Good lord, who am I feeding here?
Pork tenderloin, org, 1 lb
6 really big bone-in pork chops
Lardons, 1 lb.
You use these in stews and stuff. They're like the scrap ends of bacon or something. They sounded fun .
Chicken thighs
, like a thousand of them, because I can't not buy chicken thighs whenever I'm out.
Chicken legs, 6 org, 4 Costco. That makes 10. Jesus.
Chicken wings, 5lbs org plus half a huge Costco package.
One whole chicken because apparently, I can never have enough chicken
Turkey thigh, org, 2.5 lb, just to mix it up a little
Lamb medallions
Bag of trout fillets
4 salmon patties
Bag of uncooked shrimp.

Small Freezer (top of fridge)

3 frozen meal things (my sister's work lunches)
6 big-ass organic nitrate-free hot dogs
1 pack of organic gluten-free breakfast sausage
Organic belly bacon, 2 lbs
1 pack organic beef salami
Almond meal
Flax meal
Flax seeds
that will sit there forever. Like I'll ever actually grind my own flax meal.
Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free baking flour (say that 10 times fast)
Coconut flour
Green beans
Green peas
(for stews. I hate peas anywhere else but I hate stew without peas)
3 root veggie packs,
assembled by yours truly and containing carrots, parsnips, rutabaga, turnip and beets. Good for roasting. A little carby at the moment but yummy.
Weird solid cube of cooked squash that I may foist on to someone else
Bag of anemic-looking diced rutabaga, quite unappealing
Half a beef heart and 3 lbs of chicken gizzards
for the pusses. I have to manage that enormous beef tongue before I even think of attempting a chicken heart, though the association with voodoo appeals to me.
Homemade seafood chowder
Homemade pizza stew:
kinda like spaghetti sauce with pizza ingredients, good when your BF asks you to hold his pizza slice and it smells so good and you wanna take a bite so bad but you can't so you turn the urge into hatred and sneeze on his slice and then make pizza stew when you get home and it does the trick, kinda sorta.
Homemade GFCF LC zucchini loaf
Bag of Alexia organic oven fries that have been sitting there for months because I'm not doing potatoes at the moment

Fridge (the inner sanctum)

Perrier. Fizzy water is exciting water!
Kombucha and SCOBY. A whole other post, trust me.
2% milk (sister's)
Coconut milk, half-can (mainly used in tea)
Homemade white peach wine from sister's BF
Homemade fish stock ready to be frozen
Lemon juice (naturally, I almost always use REAL lemons. Ahem.) Shirataki noodles
Olives, green and black
Lard, organic
Bacon grease
Hard boiled eggs
, for snacks and devilling
Coconut jelly: a chewy snack made from creamed coconut and gelatin. Tastes better than it sounds.
Wonder, bread (sis)
Homemade Worcestershire sauce, bc Lea & Perrins doesn't make a gluten-free one in Canada so bah, who needs them
Homemade chicken liver pate that is SERIOUSLY awesome
Romaine lettuce
Homemade meatballs
that I'd totally forgotten about
Kosher dills
Miracle Whip
Individual organic apple sauces, only 12g carbs each and nice on my pork chops
Organic eggs
More homemade meatballs
. When did I make all these? Why?
Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake, tweaked for GFCF and for low-carb. Could happily eat nothing else. Recipe in an upcoming post.
Coconut oil candies: coconut oil, cocoa and sweetener mixed and solidified in ice cube trays.
Parsley that will rot before I use it up
Rosemary (see above)
Thyme (see above)
Organic butter for making ghee
Cocktail sauce, hot
Blueberry fruit spread
, about a year old
Marmalade fruit spread (see above)
Gigantarific tub of Hellman's. I am almost ashamed at how quickly I go through it. Almost.
Organic ketchup
Top sirloin,org, 1 lb, defrosting for dinner tonight
Puss food: raw chicken, ground bone, gizzards and liver
Sardines. I used the heads and tails for the fish stock, feeding the rest to the pusses because sardines just freak me out and I can't eat them. I don't know why.
Wrinkly turnip
Old carrots
Even older parsnips
Minced organic ginger
(food of the gods)
Frank's Red Hot, Original and Buffalo
Kraft Classic Herb dressing
Pack of organic beef salami
Pack of organic GF breakfast sausage
that I'm having later
Baking soda
Bell peppers
Pork cracklins
(the crunchy goodness left over from rendering lard)
Bread & butter pickles
, unsweetened and actually pretty gross. Don't know why I haven't thrown them out. Every now and then I have a couple, and I go "ugh" and "eeuuw" and "blecch". Then I put them back in the fridge.
Fish sauce because I might, one day, cook some sort of Thai food and I want to be prepared.
Cod liver oil. Y es, I take cod liver oil. Yes, I know what year it is.
Tamari: wheat-free soy sauce that yes, I bring with me to sushi places. I have not yet gotten the balls to bring it to Chinatown and demand that they prepare my food with it. I miss Chinese food...
HP Sauce ( sauce of the gods)


*Aside: okay, it's not really a pantry as in an awesome, romantic walk-in food closet full of interesting and exotic thingys and natural, wholesome preserved thingys. It's a crap particle board cupboard. I love the idea of having a huge pantry but really, it would be wasted on me as I don't use many dry goods or canned or boxed foods. If the end ever comes, I'll be stuck sucking on frozen meat. It would make a great shoe closet though...anyway, back to the:

Zoodles (sis, but I remember the days when my diet was these, Beefaroni, toast, cigarettes and beer and I was darn happy)
Nutrigrain bars, Oatmeal to Go (sis)
Butter chicken curry paste, a pleasant surprise as I have no idea where it came from. Luckily I have lots of chicken to use it on.
Butter (sis)
Almond hazelnut butter
from my paleo almond muffin kick, which I may revive
Natural peanut butter
Beef broth
Tomato paste
Bakers unsweetened chocolate
Cocoa powder
Coconut milk
71% Cocoa Camino choccy bar
, nummm. A little goes a long, long way.
Stevia, liquid and granular
Sugar Twin
, liquid
Erythritol: a natural sweetener that also adds bulk and texture to baked goods.
Sweet Life, another natural sweetener I'm trying
Pork rinds. I use these for breading, as crackers and to snack on occasionally. They are AWESOME, don't let anyone tell you different.
Tea: black, green, white, red, spiced, and a variety of herbal. I drink about two pots a day, as should you all.
Almond milk, unsweetened
Variety of herbs and spices
Polydextrose: adds bulk and texture to baked goods
Xanthan gum
: thickener, adds texture to baked goods
Clover honey
Maple syrup, one of my favorite flavours of all time. I don't use it or the honey often, but it's nice to have around.
Molasses used in non-LC baked bean recipe about 6 months ago. Does molasses go bad? I can't decide whether to keep it or pitch. For some reason I've grown attached to it. The carton is cute and old-fashioned looking, and that always gets me.
White sugar (sis)
Icing sugar used once on a flourless cake for Xmas, now sitting neglected and lonesome on my shelf, poor thing.
Celtic sea salt
Dessicated unsweetened coconut
Extra-virgin olive oil
Almond oil

Avocado oil (the one Jamie Oliver endorses! Woo!)
Red, white and marsala cooking wine
Vinegars: white, red wine, white wine, balsamic, rice, ume plum
DaVinci syrups: French Vanilla (mmmm in tea) and Root Beer (for my Perrier)

Based on this, I shouldn't have to grocery shop for several years. I think a mental health professional would label this as hoarding behaviour, with a touch of ingredient exhibitionism. I don't know that I'd argue.

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