I’m Armed and Dangerous. And I Have Falafel.

This is my gun.  This thing is small, but don’t be fooled.  This thing has erased nearly half of my fingerprints.

Yes, I know. The Paper Source bag is a brilliant backdrop. You're too kind.

We’ve been through thick and thin. First degree, second degree, and probable third degree burns, as well.

The gun and I made this hairpiece for Halloween

I just can’t quit it.  How can I when it was instrumental in the construction of these faux tiles for my kitchen?  (Well, my gun and lots of paint sample hoarding at Lowe’s and Home Depot.  Major props go out to my mom and assorted friends who were cool enough to loudly engage me with talk about my “interior design business” as I made off with 4 inch high stacks of paint chips)

The "backsplash" above my stove

This is one of many projects I’ve undertaken in my apartment redecoration.  I’m a renter, so while my awesome landlords are reimbursing me to paint the walls the colors of my choosing, I’m definitely not going to tile the place.  These are removable and so fun, don’t you think? This is one of three panels.  The process was worse than the poli-sci course in college that taught me nothing except how to sleep with my eyes open.  First, I hole punched out a bajillion circles.  Then, each flower had to be put together with the gun.  Now, let’s crunch some numbers: 24 tiles, 8 flowers each, 6 circles per flower…that’s…a LOT of burns, people.  Actually, that’s 192 flowers made out of gluing 1,152 circles.

I can glue 1000 coin sized circles together, but ask me to wait in a ridiculously long line and I'll tear my hair out. Yeah, I don't get it, either.

It only cost me 4 fingerprints.  The remaining six will be taken care of soon enough, like, when I’m playing with this awesome paper:

I digress.  The 192 flowers were affixed to custom painted mini canvases with my trusty gun and then I put a protective layer of resin, which gave a nice shiny finish.  Soon, the walls will be painted a lovely blue, but in the meantime, I have a nice, colorful backsplash to look at while I cook.

So, what did I cook tonight?  After several failed attempts at making falafel that didn’t go down like wet sand, I decided that I needed to bring in reinforcements.  So, what did I do?  Added avocado, of course! And holy crap- it worked.  This was the PERFECT consistency and went beautifully with some tzatziki I whipped up.

Falafel (Vegan.  Admittedly, because I forgot to buy eggs, but still vegan!)

1 can chickpeas, drained
1 1/2 Tbsp of olive oil
1/2 cup fresh parsley
1 ripe avocado (ripe enough to make guacomole with)
4 Tbsp whole wheat flour
4 Tbsp yellow cornmeal
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp. coriander
Juice of one lemon
1/4 tsp garlic powder

*Note…you can up the spices in here.  I’ll admit to adding a TON of cumin.

1.  In a food processor, blend up your chickpeas and oil until it is smooth.  Add your flour, avocado and cornmeal.  Blend until smooth.

2. Add a crapload of parsley.  Yes, a crapload.  And if you aren’t familiar with that unit of measurement, I suppose that’d be about 1/2 a cup of chopped parsley.  Trust me.  Then add the rest of your spices and the juice of one lemon.  And on a side note, if you happen to be wearing a Lululemon sweatshirt with the thumb hole, don’t think you’re going to outfox it while squeezing the lemons.  Just take your thumb out.  Take it from me.

4.  I tried this recipe two ways- pan fried and baked.  I did this so that you, my readers, would have options.  Ok, ok.  I cannot tell a lie.  I was STAHHHHHVING and pan frying was quick, but I figured i’d see if the leftovers I’m having for lunch tomorrow will bake up well.  There.  I admit it.  Yeah, it didn’t work.  You have to pan fry these, unless you like eating frisbees, of course (It’s ok if you do- This is a judgment-free zone, people.).  Put a little olive oil in a NON-STICK SKILLET and pan fry until crispy on both sides.  Top with tzatziki.  Enjoy!

These would be great with a greek salad or in a pita, too.  They come out crispy on the outside, but moist on the inside.

I’ll be posting my recipe for foolproof tzatziki tomorrow night, so be sure to check back! Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is a GIANT mess in my kitchen for me to clean up.