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How your “inner bitch” can help you gain energy and eat healthier!

Posted Apr 30 2011 8:19am

Of all the complaints I hear most in my practice (besides wanting to lose weight or help their daughter do so) is “I’m SO tired. I have NO time for myself.  I’m overwhelmed, drained, wiped out.”

And this makes perfect sense. If you’re a mom, you have a minimum of 400 million things on your to-do list most weeks.  You’re shuffling carpool, afterschool activities, doctor’s appointments, and birthday parties (just to name a few). (And this doesn’t take into account all of your other responsibilities outside of the home).

And although there are plenty of things that can boost your energy (sleep, healthy eating, exercise), even these things won’t really shift things for you if you’re afraid of, or ignoring, your “inner bitch.”

Why the heck would i encourage you to listen to your inner bitch? If you know me, you know I’m all about kindness and connection and making the world a better place.

Well, if you ignore your inner bitch, your life is going to feel pretty overstuffed and exhausting.   She’s the part of you that whispers “ugh” to you when you get an invitation to a party you don’t want to go to; that internally yells “no way do I want to volunteer for the auction committee again” when the head of the PTA asks so nicely; she’s the one that really wants your kids to LEAVE YOU ALONE after they’ve asked you to stay awake – again – for “5 more minutes.”  And she’s the one who feels overstuffed and really doesn’t want seconds when her mother-in-law piles more on her plate.

Your inner bitch is really your INNER PROTECTOR. I call her your “inner bitch” because most women are not comfortable saying “no” – they think it’s selfish and bitchy and rude.  (But ironically, when we ignore her, we are more likely to have to act selfish and bitchy and rude just to create a little space for ourselves; and if we don’t act it out? Guess what? We turn that voice on ourselves, telling ourselves we must try harder, do more, be better somehow.  EXHAUSTING).

Your inner bitch is dying to be listened to.  She wants to protect you from taking on too much, from doing things you don’t want to do, from saying yes when you mean no! She knows your energy and time are sacred!

Yet so many women and girls have not learned to honor this inner protector, and instead learn to silence her.  Instead of saying “no thank you” to the party invitation, they reply “yes” or “maybe” and then wish they didn’t have to go; instead of saying “no thank you” to the PTA head, they say “sure, I can help” and then feel resentful and annoyed when they are up licking envelops at 11 pm instead of in bed; instead of leaving their kids to fall asleep, they continue to read for “a few more minutes” (and then wonder where the time went and why they can’t get to bed early); instead of saying “no thank you” to second helpings, they dutifully pick at the added food on their plate.

When you begin to listen to your inner bitch, aka your inner protector, you kindly and gently say “no” to the things that don’t serve you. You exercise the “my needs count muscle” and you learn to not over-stuff your plate with things that “fill” your time but don’t necessarily nourish your spirit.

Learning to say no to “excess” in life helps you learn how to say “no” to excess with food. To junk that doesn’t nourish you. To overeating “too much of a good thing.” You gently and kindly learn how to honor your needs – both on and off the plate – and fill yourself to the point of satisfaction, not till you’re overstuffed.

I’d love to hear how this resonates with you, so please, leave a comment on the blog. Do you “overstuff” your life? Do you find your energy drained with “too much to do”?  Do you find it hard to say no, to food, to people, to stuff?

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