How to Continue To Be Positive…When You Have Negative People In Your Life
Posted Jul 13 2012 7:00am
I have been asked a lot lately by my clients, “How do I stay positive when I have negative people in my life?” I am sure many of you reading this have had the same question at some point in time. It can be a challenge when the negative people in your life are your spouse, parents, siblings or in a lot of cases in laws and friends. Most of the times our family and friends do mean well, but sometimes don’t realize just how ‘stinkin’ their thinking as gotten.
I remember several years ago, my husband and I had just flown into CT to visit my family . My mom had met us and we were chatting, and I told her something that was exciting that was starting to happen in our lives, and she looked at me and said, “Don’t talk about it, as it might not happen then.” I gasped, and wanted to say, “No, No, No…you need to talk about it and visualize it even more so!” Needless to say, I said nothing. I later thought, if you can’t tell your own mother and have her be happy for you, who can you tell?
I learned as time went on to surround myself with people who were like minded and as I had exciting things to share, I did so with them. Don’t get me wrong, my mother was an Amazing woman, when she walked into the room you could feel her smile. She was very kindhearted and giving, it was just that she had limiting beliefs surrounding certain things. Since then, she has passed away and I miss her very much.
I have learned over the years, that when I fill yourself up with love, joy, happiness, positivity, self-esteem, trust, honor, respect and all of the other goodies, it helps me to stay positive. I find that it also helps me to be my own support system so I am not looking for it outside of myself. The great thing is that when I do get support from my loved ones and friends, it only enhances what I have already given to myself. Here are some other tips to be able to continue to be positive.
Tips On How To Continue To Be Positive:
Surround Yourself With Positive People:
I have met so many amazing like-minded and positive people online through my social networks. There are groups on Facebook that you can join as well. When you make new friends, make sure that their nature is aligned pretty much to yours, it doesn’t have to be exactly but where your values are similar. This goes for dating as well, if you are single. It is very important, as I have found that if a friend doesn’t have similar values, etc. that your friendship will only last so long, it will not be sustainable for very long.
Remember, you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends and who you date and marry. A lot of times, people will tell you that they are a positive thinker, but in reality what they say, as well as their actions are definitely not. As you grow, you want to align yourself with those that are striving to do so, too.
By starting out your day by just reading something inspirational, it is amazing just how much easier it is to stay inspired throughout the day. When I take time to just let myself ‘Be,’ sometimes I will pick up my Kindle and read a couple of pages throughout my day. I find that the more that I take time to do that the more that I stay inspired as well as get even more creative. It gets your juices flowing and it helps you to grow.
Before I get on the computer in the morning, I take time to journal . It is so important for so many reasons. One being, that I find if I write out how I want my day to go, most of the time it does go that way and a lot of times it is even better then I imagined. I have found if I am going to be flying to go see my family, that if I journal how I want my trip to go that it usually goes that way.
By writing in your journal how you want a holiday or a get together to go with your family, even though you can’t control how others act nor should you want to, it helps you to control the energy that you put out. By writing out how you want things to go, it helps you to get into that amazing feeling as if it already has happened, thus helping you to put out even more positive energy.
Lets say, your mother-in-law is very negative and you write how wonderful it was spending time with her, as she was quite pleasant and actually a little bit positive, it starts to change your expectations and when you go to see her, now you are thinking positively of her. It is just wonderful how it can make things much better.
If you are staying overnight, make sure you take time to write in your journal how you want things to continue and how happy and grateful that you are that things are going so well. If you don’t have very much privacy to do so, then visualize it. Go for a walk and get into the feeling of how it feels to have such a wonderful and uplifting visit.
Change The Conversation:
If your family or friends are speaking about negative things, gracefully change the subject and ask something like, “So does anyone have any exciting news to share.” By doing so, they will start to change their energy and perhaps get into talking about positive things. If nobody seems to have much to share on that note, then start talking about a funny or inspiring movie that you saw. Tell a funny joke or ask someone about their plans for their upcoming vacation, etc. You will be amazed at how everyone is starting to get into it and just how quickly their negative energy went to positive.
Every morning when I wake up, I have a cup of coffee with a big heaping of gratitude. When we are grateful for what we have, even if it may not be exactly what we want, it is wonderful how quickly things will start to happen to give us what we desire. You can’t expect to have something different if you aren’t even happy for what you do have.
Being grateful consistently is an amazing place to be, not only that but you can’t have fear when you do. I have found when I have gratitude for even the experience that Adversity has given to me, my life starts to go to that next Extraordinary level. When you are grateful you are positive and that is what you are putting out. Remember, to tell your family and friends just how grateful you are for them. The more you do that and mean it, the more that they want to continue doing those things to be able to stay in that feeling of being appreciated.
I hope these tips will help you. The more you can consistently stay positive and be grateful, the more that your spouse, children and those around you maybe a well. Children as you know, model after what we do, so if what you are doing and saying is positive, it can’t help to rub off on them. You will start to see them modeling your positive behavior. Remember, whatever you focus on is what you get.