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How To Better A Relationship

Posted Jun 08 2012 7:00am

In order to have better a relationship, whether it is with your boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, children, extended family or a friend, you have to first be connected to yourself.  The more that you can relate to yourself, the more you will be able to relate to others and have an even better relationship with them. 

We go to relationships to give and share, but you must be giving all that you are giving to everyone else to yourself first.  When you continually fill yourself up with all the goodies, as I call them, love, joy, happiness, honor, trust, self-esteem, worthiness, forgiveness, etc. you will have even more of these to give to the other person.  You see, you may have felt in the past that you wanted to give more, but you always ended up feeling drained, but when you are continually filling yourself up, you won’t.

It is so important to take time for yourself as well, to just let yourself  ‘Be.’ Sometimes you may only have 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there to do so, but you will be amazed at how 5 by doing so it can really help you to recharge. When you start treating yourself like a priority rather then as an option, not only are you showing others how to treat you, but you will also find it much easier to treat others as a priority, as well.

In the past, you may have treated others as a priority but because you were not treating yourself the same way, you probably felt resentful and maybe didn’t understand why.  Remember you can’t give to others consistently, what you haven’t given to yourself first.

Tips On How To Better A Relationship:


Take the time every day to let the other person that you are in a relationship with know just how much you really appreciate them.  It can be in a text, a phone call, a little note that they will see when they are by themselves.  For your children, when they are in school you could put a note in their backpack or lunch box letting them know how proud of them that you are and how much you appreciate them. When someone feels appreciated, they tend to want to do more of those same kind of things to be able to experience that great feeling of being appreciated.


Treat those that you have a relationship with as a priority rather then as an option. Nobody wants to feel like they are an inconvenience or just an option. When you do this, your children will tend to model your behavior, thus learning how to treat others how they are being treated. As far as a spouse goes, they too will tend to model your behavior and eventually may start treating you as more of a priority.

Listen Attentively:

When someone is speaking with you, put down all electronics and anything else that you may be doing and listen attentively. If one of your loved ones need to speak with you and you are busy, just ask them if you could quickly finish up what you are doing so that you can give them your undivided attention. Remember not to interrupt them when they are speaking and depending on the nature of what they have to tell you, your advise may or may not be welcomed. Sometimes we just need someone to listen.


Don’t wait until your spouse, child, friend, etc. has succeeded in achieving a goal, but rather praise them while they are getting there. After all, that is when someone needs it the most. Remember, to focus on the positive things that they do versus the negative. The more encouragement that you give them, the more that they will want to have more successes. Remember, it is not what we leave to our children that matters as much as what we leave in them.


Remember to show your affection as often as you feel inclined to do so. There is nothing like a BIG hug when we need it the most.  Sometimes just even touching someone gently on the back as they walk by or a light touch on the arm can say it all.

I hope that these tips will help you to better a relationship that you have.  Remember, give to yourself first what you want to give to others.  Treat others how you want them to treat them.  Most of all be grateful for the people that you have a relationship with, as one day they may not be there for whatever reason.

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