I’ve said this all too often over the last year- whether I muttered it as I purchased Air Supply tickets, or as I declared my undying love for American Cheese (yes, i know this isn’t actually cheese, per se.)on ritz crackers, or on a more serious note, I had to draw a line in the sand when someone tried to reenter my life that I knew could no longer be in it. The old me thought this was the hardest thing to do- to stand up and say “NO, I deserve better.” It WAS hard. I loved this person. I still care about this person. But I chose me. This was the culmination of everything I’ve been through, every tough lesson I’ve learned this past year, but there you have it- I finally learned to have some self-respect, dammit!
It’s ok to be a little selfish sometimes and to know that I have to put me and my mental wellness first. I think many women are nurturers, but it’s easy to forget that unless we care for ourselves, ultimately, we can’t be what we need to be for anyone else. I think that sometimes health and food bloggers forget or choose not to focus on the fact that being healthy doesn’t just mean that you treat your body well, it means that you treat your soul well, too. I’m not sure why this is. Probably because most people don’t like to talk about stuff like this. Maybe some people don’t like to read about it. Maybe it’s just easier to talk about how far you ran or what you ate than to talk about how much you struggle with how you feel. It’s really hard to put yourself out there- to show that you are vulnerable and not as impenetrable or perfect as you’d like others to see you. You know what? No one is perfect and honestly, the people who seem the most “perfect” on the surface are usually the most screwed up- at least in my experience. Sometimes you have to embrace your imperfections, accept them and realize that these are the things that make you who you are.
You have to learn to be good to yourself and to require that the people you allow into your life treat you with the respect and kindness that you deserve. I think i’ve always known this- how could I not? I just needed the courage of conviction and the confidence to demand it. THAT’S one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned over the past year. Well, that, and that in a jam,brie on ritz crackers isn’t half bad, either.