The idea of women automatically changing their names after marriage has never sat well with me. I don't like the expectation that a woman will forgo not only ties with her family but a part of her ethnic identification. It irks me more when women take names that "whiten" their identities on paper. If you know me, you know that I have a really really hard time with the idea that an Asian American woman would take a Euro or Euro-American name.
I realize that once again I am in the minority since my white mother and my white aunt both willingly took Chinese surnames. So, if whites are willing to take on names of those who are among the most discriminated in order to share a name with their husbands and kids, what does this imply about Asian American women who take on a Euro surname?
I never expected to change my name at all. Then, because the likelihood of me marrying an Asian or part Asian American is about 5000 times greater than me marrying someone non-Asian, I figured that as long as I keep the culture and ethnic identification than the actual name won't matter so much (i.e., Valerie Mao). For a while, due to my fascination with other East Asian groups I figured that even an East Asian surname would be okay (i.e., Valerie Murakami or Valerie Kim). And then, I heard the Vietnamese name Vo which starts with my favorite letter and is just like Lo and only has two letters so I'd still have a short name, and no one has two Vs in their names so it would be sweet...and I'd take it in a second). And then I read a book by Laura Hyun Yi Kang and found out that she is using both her and her husband's surnames and not hyphens and four names total are okay if they are short...so I could be Valerie M. Wang Lo or something like that.
But, back to reality (and away from my fantasy that Murakami has a son who would marry me, or that Toru Watanabe is a real person). Peeps, regardless of your gender, don't throw away your sweet ethnic surname in favor of becoming a Smith or Jones. Think about it first. Also, as a true Asian American, I don't really believe in the hyphen (but that is another matter to decide). Unless you were blessed to have multiple ethnic names, i.e., Reiko Akemi Takahashi or something like that, you may be mistaken for Euro/haole/white, etc.
What I noticed living in Hawai'i, is that a lot of people have many many names, like 5 or 6 or 7 and Hawaiian names aren't short! Just check out any UH graduation program. Plus, many of the mixed kids get names from their various ethnic backgrounds.
On a final note, the link below is for you to browse at your leisure if you like. I just have to say, one more controversial thing...please please please DO NOT call yourself a "mutt" if you are a bunch of several Euro ethnicities. Those of us who have been legislated out of legitimacy in the past DO take offense.
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/pop/articles/0311maidennames0311.html
Please respond if you like, here or on my blog!
I realize that once again I am in the minority since my white mother and my white aunt both willingly took Chinese surnames. So, if whites are willing to take on names of those who are among the most discriminated in order to share a name with their husbands and kids, what does this imply about Asian American women who take on a Euro surname?
I never expected to change my name at all. Then, because the likelihood of me marrying an Asian or part Asian American is about 5000 times greater than me marrying someone non-Asian, I figured that as long as I keep the culture and ethnic identification than the actual name won't matter so much (i.e., Valerie Mao). For a while, due to my fascination with other East Asian groups I figured that even an East Asian surname would be okay (i.e., Valerie Murakami or Valerie Kim). And then, I heard the Vietnamese name Vo which starts with my favorite letter and is just like Lo and only has two letters so I'd still have a short name, and no one has two Vs in their names so it would be sweet...and I'd take it in a second). And then I read a book by Laura Hyun Yi Kang and found out that she is using both her and her husband's surnames and not hyphens and four names total are okay if they are short...so I could be Valerie M. Wang Lo or something like that.
But, back to reality (and away from my fantasy that Murakami has a son who would marry me, or that Toru Watanabe is a real person). Peeps, regardless of your gender, don't throw away your sweet ethnic surname in favor of becoming a Smith or Jones. Think about it first. Also, as a true Asian American, I don't really believe in the hyphen (but that is another matter to decide). Unless you were blessed to have multiple ethnic names, i.e., Reiko Akemi Takahashi or something like that, you may be mistaken for Euro/haole/white, etc.
What I noticed living in Hawai'i, is that a lot of people have many many names, like 5 or 6 or 7 and Hawaiian names aren't short! Just check out any UH graduation program. Plus, many of the mixed kids get names from their various ethnic backgrounds.
On a final note, the link below is for you to browse at your leisure if you like. I just have to say, one more controversial thing...please please please DO NOT call yourself a "mutt" if you are a bunch of several Euro ethnicities. Those of us who have been legislated out of legitimacy in the past DO take offense.
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/pop/articles/0311maidennames0311.html
Please respond if you like, here or on my blog!