Week five and habit five, do you know what that means? It means that you've been focused on doing some good things for your ass and body for almost a month and a half. Which means you should be feeling a difference. That is if you're actually doing anything besides just reading the blog, and then heading to the kitchen to make a coffee with double sugar and cream.
I choose to believe that you have been following it, like those mothers who think their 16 year old daughters don't know what a blow job is; I may be in denial. But hope springs eternal here on Ass block. So onwards and upwards.
oh it also means you're going to have to suck it up and give something up.
Let's reiterate a few points here to make you feel motivated:
Healthier people with healthy toned asses tend to live longer, they also get more dates than sick and saggy assed people (unless they're really really rich) People who eat 30+ grams of fiber daily and drink 1.5 liters of water t end to be better looking than ones that don't because healthy butts mean healthy skin, livers and natural charisma. People who eat healthier retire with more money because you haven't had to spend it on healthcare, medications and extra large clothes because you have chronic diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. Eating healthy is cool, it is trendsetting and hip to say, 'Packaging is so passe, I prefer my food whole and real." You're not a freaky granola hippie, you're a Chic Food Realist. Now remember before walk down the no packaged food path: If you get a craving for something naughty (food wise), then ask yourself if you want an apple or a banana. If you don't want to eat the apple or banana you are not hungry you are eating emotional.
Put the bad food down. Seriously - just put it down.
Habit 5: Don't Eat From Colorful Boxes
So here it is the moment we've all been waiting for. The good news is I'm not going to ask you to give up coffee or sex. In fact if you can increase the sex and keep the coffee to one a day, that would be amazing. If you could add no sugar to your coffee and add some peek-a-boo underwear to the sex all the better as well.
If you go to many holistic nutritionists and generally healthy people, they will strongly suggest you give up coffee. Me, I'm a Chic Food Realist and for most people asking them to not drink coffee is akin to asking them to not be gay or heterosexual - it's that tied up in our identities and behaviours. That and people who are addicted to caffeine and give it up cold turkey can be truly awful to be around. So really me asking you to only have one a day is out of kindness to your fellow man, and I don't need the caffeine withdrawal hate mail.
Also like me, I have so few vices left, that if I gave up my coffee (which I have about 3-4 times a week) then I might tip the vice scale just too far and become a sex or carb addict to fill the vice void.
I exercise, I don't drink very much ( most of the time), I don't do drugs (totally ages you), I don't eat donuts, and the other vice I might be inclined to take up wouldn't make my husband very happy.
I will tell you more about teas and coffee later, in a special drink blog: because I think you should be informed about the liquids we guzzle, but this is not the time or the place.
What does habit 5 really mean? It means I want you to get your reasonably portioned foods that you eat from real foods. Unprocessed, true foods that don't have a list of ingredients as long as your arm. I could tell you to stop eating foods with chemicals in them. I could tell you to avoid products with sugar in the top 3 ingredients I could also tell you that if you can't pronounce it or need a dictionary to know what it is you probably shouldn't ask it to visit your liver ( remember she hasn't has a holiday and at some point if you take her for granted she's going to get payback) I could also tell you that if you couldn't make the product from ingredients yourself you probably don't want it inside you. I could tell you that BHT and BHA that line most colorful boxes and cans are known carcinogens, so the packaging itself can be the problem. I could tell you that most packaged foods (7 out of 10) are sourced from Genetically Modified Foods like corn, soy and wheat and sugar beets. Say No To Freaky Foods! I could give you an entire blog list full of what chemicals to avoid, what has been known to cause cancer in rats, the 85 (slight exaggeration) of different names for sugar and so on but the truth is you'd absorb about 1% of it and then write me off as some granola crazy who doesn't live in the real world, or isn't as busy or important as you are. Well, I may be many things (including demanding and annoying) but I'm not a granola girl and I know what is manageable and doable on a day to day basis and sorting through an ingredient list isn't going to happen with every item i put into my cart. So here's the deal, get a pen out because I want you to commit to this... You will only eat one meal a day that comes from some kind of colorful box or ready made meal. I would love if you decide to eat all whole foods meal, but I'm not expecting it. (When i say whole foods meal I do not mean a meal purchased from the chain of Whole Foods) I mean foods that are in their normal state. As in a broccoli not sliced, dices seasoned and wrapped in colorful plastic. You will become a real foods junkie. A packaged food avoider. You will eat many foods that have one ingredient: eg: oats, apples, brown rice, tomatoes. Uh the simplicity of it. You are becoming a Chic Food Realist. So here's the deal, if it comes in a box or bag that is colorful and promises something fantastic and looks like it could possible be on a toy shelve. YOU SHOULD NOT EAT IT. and the happy colors will not make your body happy, eventually they will make your body sad.... so stay away.
Also white is not your friend. Brown is your buddy. If the white rice, white pasta, or white bread are calling your name, tell it to f*ck off. Bums hate white things and you really don't want to piss off your bum. Hmm, yeah I know you're looking in your cupboard and saying, "Man that's everything I have." Well you're not alone, colorful box food addictions are common and we can get you off this crazy train. Here's something that you may not know; food in colorful boxes with lots of ingredients that have been squeezed out of a metal pipe and then super heated aren't actually food. It's a trick. They are fat creating, salt bundling, liver bugging, substances that were made to produce a product that then produces a profit.
They are pretty boxes, but not so great at producing health. If you need an example look of the effect of colorful boxes look at the North American population.30% of children in the United States are obese. Many have diabetes, high blood pressure and truth be told no date on friday night either. Being heavy as a kid sucks and colorful boxes in lunch bags across the globe are partially to blame. In 2009 despite all the information and all the people watching The Biggest Loser, 23 states increased their obesity rates and not one decreased their rates. (cited from: F as in Fat: How Obesity Policies Are Failing in America 2009, a report released today by the Trust for America's Health (TFAH) and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF) Countries like China, India and Africa which used to boast very low rates of obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure now have more food in colorful boxes, because they thought new and improved and pretty was better; and now they too are paying the price. You really don't want to have British teeth do you? The primary indicator of poor dental health is diet. So this is one real case of pretty packaging ain't so pretty. What do I want you do do? Number one: stop being lazy - if your kids gets a colorful lunch pack as their meal stop giving it to them today. Kids need real food to grow well. Yes I am guilting you. Your kids (yourself and your dog and cats) deserve better, even if you think you don't. I know you're busy, but nobody is too busy to make a oatmeal cereal (3-5 minutes) in the morning, and if you really are that busy than you should be able to afford someone to make the hot oatmeal for you. If you're the shopper in your house it's time to be the shopping Nazis, give up the sweet cereals and prepare to have your spouse and your children hate you for a good few weeks. Just come to terms with it. Being well liked by your kids and or spouse is over rated anyway. Buy food that has usually one ingredient: For example: rice, carrots, broccoli, -now you can mix these together to be a dish with a variety of ingredients but generally the fewer the ingredients on a list and the less packaging it has the better. For example yoghurt: A good yoghurt or kefir has 2 ingredients active bacterial cultures and organic whole milk. Notice there's no sugar or weird crap listed. The weird crap comes when you want low fat, no fat, and all the rest. When you don't eat the right fats you're going to be craving them later on so just eat normal food and leave the low fat for people who don't know better. Learn how to cook or date/marry/befriend someone who does. Okay here are some suggestions to make this easier. Eat whole fruits as snacks, apples, pears, or great proteins like nuts (but not too many) Have a oatmeal, millet, teff, or quinoa cereal for breakfast or a smoothie. Lunch for yourself or kids.:A organic whole grain (brown colored) bread with greens and a slice of real not plastic cheese, or nut butter and jams. A great snack or lunch alternative is pita breads (whole wheat) with homemade hummus (chickpeas, olive olive, lemon juice and garlic) Snack on carrots, celery, fruits, dried fruits. Dinner is a snap with options like bean chili and rice, or a nice lean cut of beef or chicken (preferably organic) with root vegetables or greens. Allow yourself a real foods break, don't try to do it all at once. In a fix, some packaged foods that are allowed as snacks would be things like Larabars, or Mary's Gone Crackers seed crackers. I know that this is a big leap, but so was marriage, or moving in with your boyfriend or having that threesome, so I know you can risk it and try something new. Seriously - it's your health, think of the grocery store as your preventative medicine cabinet and a great way to avoid the plastic surgeon. If any 'real food' questions come up in this quest for real food domination please feel free to post them. Shopping tips: When you hit the produce section of a store if you look at the PLU codes on fruits and veggies here's what you need to know: A PLU that starts with 9 means it's organic. eg. 94011A PLU that starts with 8 means it's genetically modified 84011A PLU that starts with 4 is conventionally grown 44011
Okay the heats on, you should be feeling energetic and healthy enough to get this Habit 5 kicked off with a bang!
Remember feed your ass and the rest will follow.
Have a happy ass week.
ps if you want to be scared into eating well I suggest Food Inc. best horror film I've seen in a long time. Happy end though...