Can your children model your relationship? Whether you realize it or not, you ARE setting an example for your children! How you relate with your spouse or significant other is always setting an example for your children. In fact — and I really hate to say this — even your relationship with your ex (if you have one) is setting an example
Ouch, that hurts!
Here are some ways that can help you make your relationship worthy of being modeled. If you do these all the time, regardless of whether your children are there or not, your relatedness will always worthy.
8 Ways To Make Your Relationship Worthy Of Being Model:
1. Always speak kind and loving to them.
2. Treat them with love, honor, respect and trust.
3. If you disagree with something that they said or did, discuss it in private, but remember to never, ever belittle them.
4. Make sure words like, “Thank You”; “You’re Welcome”; “Please”; and “I Appreciate You”…need to be at the top of your vocabulary.
5. Show affection and say “I love you” in front of your children, but keep it G-rated, so your teenagers don’t tell you to get a room — lol! Your children should see you give your partner a kiss and/or a hug, as well as holding hands when appropriate.
6. Never speak badly about your partner to your children. I know you are only human, and at times you may get mad, but if you need to vent, find others ways. Go for a walk, meditate, pray, etc. Most of all, remember to talk to your partner about it, when you are calm — in private.
7. Make sure you and your partner have a united front and support each other…you don’t want the children to feel they can play one parent against the other, even in the case of a step-parent.
8. Lastly, think about how you would feel if your children treated their future partner how you do yours. Keep this in mind so you will start automatically changing your behavior, if it is necessary.
If you have an ex, never speak badly about them, as it only causes a lot of conflict in children. They may feel like they have to choose one parent over the other and that’s never fair to them. If your child comes to you about something that the other parent won’t allow them to do, then speak to your ex in regards to that issue, in private, if you don’t agree.
From there, you can make a decision together and then stand firm on it. Just remember, you had children with them and, for the best interests of the children, you need to get along. Just keep in mind that at least you don’t have to that ex home with you any more — lol!
If you are the step parent, or your significant other is one to your children, the 8 rules above still apply.