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Falling Into Place … Sort of

Posted Jul 14 2011 11:02am

Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to fall into place? You wake happy and well-rested, have a decent hair day, like your outfit, the weather is good, you eat well, check multiple things off your professional and personal to-do lists, squeeze in some exercise, get along well with everyone in your life at work and at home … ?

Yea, me neither! ;)

But in all seriousness, yesterday was, indeed, one of those days where things did seem to fall into place. And it was lovely. Of course, I wish I felt this way every day, but usually something is amiss.  Because let’s be honest … as a new mom who works outside the home, things rarely go smoothly.

So it was a welcome change when, yesterday, things did go smoothly.

Furthermore, today reminded me why I’m still working … but also why I almost wish I was a stay at home mom (SAHM).

On the one hand, I’m planning two big events at work right now, and one of my favorite things to do is plan events. I get a thrill from the planning aspect and though I usually have jitters until said event is over — I love the rush. So since both events are coming together nicely (one is tomorrow — an agency-wide community service project) I feel pretty good about things at work. Not cocky, just “good.”

But on the other hand, I joined a mom’s group and am seriously bummed that I can’t make 99% of the activities they do because they’re either during the work day, on days/nights where hubby has class, or on Saturday mornings when we have swimming classes. :(

I love the idea of building a life around social activities–I’m a social butterfly. But I also think I’d miss the competitive edge I feel here at work, the gratification I get from my work. Of course, I also get gratification raising Maya (and that beats any promotion!) and so the decision to work outside the home doesn’t come without sacrifice — other people are essentially raising my kid and some days, that’s really hard to swallow! (Fortunately, I know how much they adore here at babyschool, but still …)

That said, I miss Maya tons, but I’m feeling better these days about being back at work … so I do feel like things are sort of falling into place with respect to my decision to return to work. But there are definitely times where I just wish I didn’t work and could be home with her 24/7. I wonder if I will ever feel 100% sure in my decision … but for now, I’m going to take pride in my work and feeling good about the direction things are headed.

How about you? Do you feel like, at this moment, your life feels organized or chaos? I know for the first three months of Maya’s life, I felt like things were pretty chaotic and now we have a “new normal,” subject to change at any moment. How do you cope with chaos?


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