I'm quickly realizing the only way I'm going to get over this slump I'm in is to eliminate as much stress from my life as possible. I know it's not always possible to get rid of ALL stress, but cutting back will help tremendously. Sadly, the biggest part of my stress right now is my new job. I hate it. I really thought I could handle it, but it's just too much for me. It's not working that is the problem, it's this specific job. I do cold calling to set up appointments for a company here in our area. I'm so tired of being talked to like I'm scum. Hey.. I'm just doing my job! I'm polite and not pushy in anyway. If I get the slightest hint that someone isn't interested, I thank them for their time and get off the phone. I also ask if I'm calling at a bad time.. I don't want to rush headlong into a phone script while they are needing to be elsewhere in their business helping customers. I know this completely goes against all the normal "telemarketing rules", but it does work for me. People seem more willing to listen if I give them the option instead of just talking at 100 miles per hour without letting them get a word in edgewise. Nothing is a bigger pet peeve of mine than a pushy salesperson, phone or in person. What makes it worse is that my boss thinks I'm doing and excellent job and is very happy with my results. If I stunk at it, at least it would be easier to quit. It's hard to quit knowing that they are happy with me. I hate to let them down, but I can't do it anymore. I'm just not cut out for this kind of thing. I need to be selling trinkets and cards at Hallmark again, or something like that.
So now I have the stress of telling my boss I'm quitting. Actually, I'm an independant contractor, so he's not really my boss.. more like my client and he pays me by the hour for what I do. Either way though, it's still hard. I feel guilty.. why is that? Why do I feel guilty because it's not working out for me? That's sure not helping my stress level! I guess it's because he hired me to do a job and I can't follow through with it. I'll work for a couple of weeks until he finds a replacement, but I can't keep going. As the saying goes... somethings gotta give!
My eating has been horrendous because of this. I'm just mindlessly eating. I told you I'd post my ups and downs here. I wish I had only ups to report.. but this is one of those times when it's all downhill. I'm sure when this is all overwith I'll be back on top of things, but for now I'm gonna wallow in my self-destructive behavior - because it seems to be my only coping mechanism.