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Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Posted May 05 2012 10:00pm
As has become a tradition this Spring quarter, I went out with friends on Thursday night.

me, samantha, carlyn, carlos, nicole, marie, amelia & marissa 

I have had this lingering old man wheeze for a few weeks now, and on Friday morning, I woke up from the festivities with a full blown “producing cough’ (as mom calls it). Like, nasty. We’re talkin’ a pneumonia-bronchitis hybrid with a little bit of death thrown in there. It basically feels like a microbial colony is growing inside my lungs and airway. Unfortunately, it is probably viral, so I can’t go Western medicine on it’s ass. In a desperate attempt to revive myself for tonight (Cinco de Drinko?), I have been doing some rather alternative treatments…

1. Based on two studies that my mom sent me, I quadrupled the dose of Tagamet (cymetadine) because it is supposed to amp up the immune system and reduce the length of infections. I don’t recommend anyone else do this.

2. Drinking 2000 mg of vitamin C every 2 hours. And orange peels.

3. Staying in on Friday night with my MCAT books and sleeping for TEN POINT FIVE HOURS. Unheard of.

4. Eating extra protein so the body has enough amino acids to manufacture the needed immune cells without breaking down my ass muscle.

5, 6, and 7. Snacking on local bee pollen, kombucha, and wheat germ for their possible immune-enhancing properties. Bee pollen may help with local allergies, so that would at least not make my cough worse. Kombucha is full of beneficial bacteria, which can help displace pathogenic bacteria in the colon. Wheat germ is a good source of zinc, which is needed for immune function.

8. This is where things get cray. I went to the farmers market this morning and bought kale, spinach, and a pound of cow liver. About six people told me liver is disgusting, but I ignored them. After reading about the nutrients that are linked to immune system, I was willing to eat anything to get massive quantities of vitamin A, zinc, and iron. Liver is literally oozing vitamin A (and the other two). So much so that if you eat too much pate or liver you can actually overdose and get Vitamin A toxicity in just one meal. But that is only if your stores were already very full of it anyway. Why are livers so rich in vitamin A? Because that is where all animals store it. My friends suggested I simply eat a ton of spinach, but the vitamin A and iron in spinach and vegetables is only 10% bioavailable, compared to 90% in animal products.

So for lunch, I had a quarter pound of liver fried in ghee (clarified butter) with onions and garlic.

And it was disgusting.

After this photo was taken and a bite was ingested, I DOUSED that liver in ketchup and ate it without chewing. I had to stop and catch my breath a few times. That was 4 hours ago and I’m still full.

I should have gotten suspicious when I struggled to cut the liver into strips. Our sharpest knife could not cut through it. Too much vitamin A?…

While it was cooking, it actually smelled good. I figured everyone else was just picky and this was gonna be great!

Wrong. It tasted more cow-y than if I had just run over to the vet science area of campus and bit into one of the grazing cows. Egh.

I followed up the liver with my very first green smoothie. It was so good!

It had a lot of lightly steamed spinach (its one of the veggies that lightly steaming actually increases the bioavailability of the vitamins), kale, half a frozen banana, blueberries, strawberries, almond milk, and a bit of stevia.

I’m feeling a bit better, but my plans for this evening have yet to be determined.

To be continued.

And sorry for possibly grossing you out. Again.

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