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Crunch THIS!

Posted Jan 14 2009 8:47pm

Over the weekend, Mr. Jelly Belly and I were having a discussion on abs and whether crunches were the most effective way to develop a six-pack.

We were discussing this as we were eating foot-long Coney dogs at A&W. (It’s okay – we were on vacation.)

Anyway, he took exception to my comment that he would never have a six-pack because of his diet. As you may recall, he dislikes most vegetables and the only whole grain he will eat is brown rice. He lives for sugar and other simple carbs. Dorito’s anyone?

Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s rectum if he has a six-pack or not, but that seems to be really important to him. Probably to most men.

I had read once that abs were made in the kitchen. This means unless your diet is almost 100% “clean”, you can do crunches and squats until the proverbial cow comes home and you will never rock that six-pack.

Do you think this guy eats a Nutri-Grain bar and a Slim-Fast every day for breakfast and chomps on Cherry Twizzlers in the evening while watching Sports Center?

I think not.

I hate doing crunches – so I justify not doing them by proclaiming them totally unnecessary. Have you heard the expression, “Work smarter, not harder”? I really think this is true when it comes to fitness.

When my diet was clean and I worked out (only) three days a week, I can guarantee you there was no jelly in this belly. And I felt great.

I am not a bodybuilder. Nor do I have any aspirations in that direction. So why should I kill myself doing endless crunches and hours of cardio every week when I can get visible results by just tweaking my diet, spending 30 minutes or so strength training three times a week and hitting the freakin’ treadmill for as long as I can stand it ( 30 minutes tops ) every day?

Giving up junk food is not easy. Saying “no” to sugar and white flour is even more difficult. I know this. But when you can totally feel the difference within just a couple of days, it starts getting easier and easier. Before long you realize you wouldn’t eat a donut if someone paid you to do it; it makes you feel that bad.

Mr. Jelly Belly doesn’t think he can do this. I think he can.

I think I can get him interested in a lower-carb lifestyle. Unlike me, he has amazing willpower, so I know if I find the right recipes and plan every bite he puts in his mouth for a week or two, he will see such a big difference in how he looks and, more importantly, how he feels, that he will get right on board.

He can be a tough nut to crack, but I know I can entice him with my wily ways. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

Soon, we will look like this:



Or something close to it.

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