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A Tale of My Life As an ‘Oops’ + We Have a Breadwinner!

Posted Jul 01 2010 12:00am

Growing up in a middle-class Asian family, it was only natural that as a young bookish girl, my primary form of entertainment came in the act of acquiring new stationery.  In particular, I recall the day I received an eraser that looked exactly like this:

( Source )

It was an over-sized eraser with what I believed to be an extra-cool message.  Eagerly in class the next day, I brandished it out of my pencil case with extra flair, at which point my classmates thought it would be very fun to ask me: “Can I erase you?”

Thus began my life as an “oops”.

Not that I’m complaining or anything.  I’m old enough now not to believe that I am a mistake, but I do think that I make a lot of mistakes.

Like, Oops, Indian food isn’t the same as Middle Eastern food?

Or… Oops, I guess I left this plantain unattended for way too long.

Which soon became an Oops, let me go ahead and fry these plantain babies in savory nutritional yeast and coconut even though I know fried plantain is supposed to be sweet.

Which then became an Oops, that actually tasted good.

I am Miss Waste-not-want-not.  Therefore can I throw beet stems into my rhubarb compote.

Not bad, except I don’t think a compote is supposed to be the same thing as a soup Oops.

That’s OK, Miss Oops.  Let’s drain out the water and turn it into a banana-rhubarb smoothie…

…and a tangy pink poppyseed Caesar dressing….

As you might imagine, this oops-ing phenomenon, rather unfortunately, is much to the dismay of my family, who so kindly brought me up with a knack for fancy stationery and expected great things of me.  Clearly, they were wrong, and soon realized that the only thing I actually enjoy doing as a big Oops is pretending that I’m a ninja.

That and draw.  Ah yes.  How many potential moments of intellectual stimulation and mental invigoration have been wasted upon days of moving a pencil around on a sketchpad to simulate an avocado?

Indeed, my family deplores at the thought of what will become of me when I grow up and become an even bigger Oops. I think they believe–and with reason–that at this rate of oops-making, it has become increasingly unlikely that I will become any sort of prized breadwinner in my family.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

At which point I say, BECAUSE I’M SPIDERMAN!!!

But seriously, guys.  Someone’s gotta win the bread .  Now, as per the long-standing Aletheian tradition, the announcement of Giveaway winners is (usually) always a silly video, created by me, just for your viewing pleasure.  Accompanied, of course, by the obligatory silly dance.

(Somewhere off in the distance, a newborn is screaming in horror.)

Oops.  No matter!  Here’s the REAL Breadwinner from the Silver Hills giveaway:

Dance, dance, love!!!!!!

xo Aletheia

P.S. I seriously mean it when I say that everyone is a winner in my eyes.  If I had a chocolate bar for every single one of you who didn’t win the giveaway, and the money to pay for international postage, I’d be mailing out ‘consolation bars’ like it was nobody’s business but Willy Wonka ‘s.

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