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A Happy Accident or “My Scones are like Viagra?!”

Posted Nov 20 2009 10:04pm

Yeah, I know. You have NO IDEA where i’m going with this one. You’ll just have to wait and see.

Sometimes I have these epiphanies. They’re not anything cool like the meaning of life, or how to make a million dollars while sitting on my couch with my piggy slippers on watching daytime TV. Generally, they’re things like book ideas or recipe ideas, or jewelry and design ideas. After contributing WAAAAY too much to Post-it’s profits over the years, I’ve started carrying notebooks and index cards with me everywhere, just in case. A couple of days ago, I had one such epiphany and last night I channeled Martha Stewart. No, I did not engage in insider trading. Or knit ponchos for inmates. On the contrary- I cooked up a storm! I had this really simple recipe for lentil barley soup in my head, and last night, my urge to bake hit me hard. It was like a magnetic force was drawing me to the mixer.

First, I made this hearty (and healthy!) Italian Lentil Barley Soup. A couple of weeks ago I had picked up this ten minute barley from Quaker, for the convenience factor. It comes out of the box looking more like oatmeal, but it cooks up just like regular barley, in just a fraction of the time. Nutritionally, the vitamins and minerals aren’t quite as good, but it’s a tradeoff. In this soup, there were lots of nutrient providing ingredients, so I didn’t mind.

I had some precooked lentils from TJ’s and decided that I could whip up the kind of soup that comes together quickly and easily. I was right! It was so delicious, I had two bowls of the stuff and still have PLENTY left over for lunches and a nice portion to freeze. I had it with some Greek Yogurt mixed in and a Fiber One whole wheat English muffin on the side. In my first bowl, I also threw in one serving of shrimp for a little protein boost. Perfection!

After dinner, I was watching a really dorky Christmas movie (all this talk of Christmas Carols and decorating in foodie blogland is making me want to chop down a tree and start putting up lights!), that I will not divulge so that I may maintain some semblance of dignity, when the chanting in my brain started. “Cookies! Cookies! You know you want to make some! Do it! Do it!”

Here’s the problem. #1. I have a bad baking track record. I set things on fire. and #2. I do not cook from recipes. I just don’t. Sometimes I’ll make up my own recipes based on a flavor profile from a recipe I’ve seen. I use my Grandma’s recipes (which are all in my head from years of watching her and cooking them myself) for the old standbys like meatballs and marinara, but that’s about it. As I become more immersed in the foodie community, I’m seeing recipes that I actually do want to try (*ahem* Jessica ), but in all honesty, following a recipe just hasn’t been my style. So you can see how that might present an issue for baking. And did I mention I set things on fire? I had it in my head that I was going to create a healthy and delicious recipe, darnit!

So, I whipped up my cookie batter with some banana, whole wheat flour, oats, organic peanut butter, organic maple flavoring and a little Earth Balance, threw them in the oven and the following conversation occurred between Colorhungry boyfriend and I:

Me: I just put some “healthy cookies” in the oven. I don’t think this will end well.

Him: You need a crash course from your mom!

Me: I know. She offered, but I couldn’t wait until the next time I go home! I mean, they smell good. They just aren’t spreading like cookies should, you know?

Ten minutes later:

Me: LMAO! I think I just inadvertently made mini scones!!!! And very tasty ones!

Him: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: I’m not sure if I should count this as a failure or as a success.

Him: It’s like Viagra!

Me: ???

Him: Well, Viagra was found by mistake!

Me: And THERE’S the title of my post tomorrow.

So there you have it, people! My scones are like Viagra. They DID induce pleasurable moans, I will say. I had two this morning for breakfast, topped with a little almond Butter, sent to me courtesy of the lovely folks at Barney Butte r. Um, holy nut butter, batman! Where have YOU been all my life?! It was absolutely perfect.

Wow. I really need a manicure.

I guess I’ve sort of decided that until I know what makes a cookie turn out like a cookie and a cake turn out like a cake and so on and so forth, I’ll follow recipes when baking. Lesson learned. But my scone recipe? That’ll live to fight another day!

Now, I wonder how many stoners will end up on my page when googling a recipe for hash brownies. *devilish grin*

And keep an eye out for an update to the Baby Steps to Body Love Challenge, coming soon!

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