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30 Ways That Make a Mom and Son Relationship Unique

Posted Sep 05 2012 7:00am
Retro Parenting

Being one of 3 girls, I never grew up around boys and their unique personalities. As a mom to 5 children, 2 of which are boys I must say that I’ve experienced some unique situations that I would never trade for anything in the world. Here is what I have learned to date with boys.

1. Don’t be afraid to play in the mud. Little guys and big guys love to be dirty and what better way then rolling in the mud? Dirty hands, faces and clothes are always fun!

2. Always be there for him. Never, ever be too busy for his creations. Avoid using the ‘in a minute’ response. They will come to you later in life and not keep anything from you…so start young..

3. Pray, pray and pray some more. Each and every day. Teach him to do the same.

4. Don’t be squimish around bugs, insects and frogs. Yes, frogs! Not sure why little boys have an attraction to yucky and sticky bugs but they do..so don’t ever let him see you sweat.

5. Teach him to cook. Not only will he burn many pots and pans, but he will make his future wife very happy one day. Who doesn’t love a man that can manage their way around the kitchen?

6. Listen intently to his very, very, very long stories. Remember there will come a day when he won’t speak freely to you or will want to share his day with you. Listening to him early will make him feel comfortable so he will come and talk to you when something is bugging him.

7. Don’t set ridiculous rules. Let’s face it as much as we won’t want them to ‘play’ with imaginary guns it will be an never-ending battle. He will make ‘guns’ out of sticks, legos, rulers, pretzels, celery sticks, brooms, pencils, fingers and anything else that comes his way. Instead, teach him about the safety issues and trust him.

8. Let him pick his clothes. As much as you may cringe at this thought, helping him become independent early on will be one of the best gifts you can ever give him. *Hint..when shopping make sure to purchase lots of colored t-shirts…whites will never stay white.

9. Teach him to use his words. There will be times that he wants to stomp away, slam doors or simply hit something. Using his words will help him share his feelings in words and not simply blow up or give up. Teach him that his feelings of anger, embarrassment and impatience is normal but using words will be much more helpful.

10. Teach him to do his own laundry. Will he always be happy to do it? Chances are ‘no’ but these life lessons are necessary and his ‘future’ wife will love you for teaching him.

11. Be his ultimate cheerleader. Whether he is riding his bike for the first time or running and sliding into first base, cheer him on. He may get annoyed with you hooting and hollering from the stands but will always know you were there for him. 

12. Teach and encourage him to dance. Encourage him to move with the music. Teach him to simply enjoy music and move to the rhythm, and most importantly let him know he doesn’t have to be perfect.

13. Answer all his ‘whys’. There are times you will not know all the answers; teach him that its okay to not know all the answers. Look up the answers together and if all fails, make it up. Mommy definitions are rarely wrong :)

14. Always have an endless supply of band-aids and wipes and be sure to carry some in your purse and have in car. I’m sure you get the picture.

15. Kiss him. Kiss him in private, kiss him in public. Although they may be wild most of the days, there will be times they are gentle and sweet. Cuddle up with them and show your love and affection and teach them to do the same.

16. Let his dad teach him new things. Let’s face it there will activities we can’t do or lack the particular hormones to do them successfully. If there is no dad in the picture, be sure to have a male role model for him in his life.

17. Teach him to be respectful and have manners. It’s always best to be nice and show respect to others, themselves and their elders.

18. Teach him about the birds and the bees. Although dad will has his version, it’s important to him how girls react and will need to hear your version as well. 

19. Laugh..enjoy his silliness and show him you can be just as silly. Make some long lasting memories.

20. Read to him, read with him. Teach him early to enjoy books, and stories and creating his own stories.

21. Let him know it’s okay to cry. Dads may frown at this but it’s important to share your emotions. Keeping your emotions inside is unhealthy so let the tears shed, it’s okay.

22. Teach him to enjoy the arts. Music, theatre, art and more…teaching him to appreciate the work of others is special. Allowing him to experience his own is priceless. 

23. Let him climb trees, ride his bike without hands, go rock climbing and all the other adventurous activities he desires. Keep lots of band-aids and tissues on hand for him and you. Teaching him to be fearless is part of building up his self-esteem. {still working on keeping my gasps under control..that’s the mommy in me}

24. Moms be sure to have ear plugs in the home. Not for the endless conversations because those are priceless. However, if your son decides he was to be in a rock band and begs and pleads for a drum set, or guitar you will need the ear plugs on occasion.

25. Teach him to be independent. Ultimately as moms our responsibility is to be a loving, and nurturing but most importantly we are in their lives to prepare them to be respectful, loving, and happy men. One day they will look back at their childhood and will dislike some of their experiences and love most of their experiences and learn to do the same when they have a family of their own.

26. Build up his self-esteem. Teaching him that he can be a leader and not a follower is essential. He will remember your lessons and confidently say ‘no’ to the never ending temptations he will face. 

27. Always tell him he is special. Tell him when he is an infant, a toddler a young boy and into his teen years. Hearing that he is special and wonderfully made is important and is something he will need to hear often. Yes, he has feeling just as girls and needs to hear that he is special too.

28. Assure him that you will always be there for him; during the good times and the bad times. Cherish those long hours of talks about girls, he needs your female input and many times won’t ask you but your mom intuition will know when it’s necessary to share.

29. Have many tissues on hand. Boys know how to look at you in such a way that your heart will melt. Its okay to cry and show him that you are not hurt but truly appreciate his love. He may not always understand your tears but that’s okay, we are women and they don’t always have to understand.

30. Love him with all your heart and soul. Never let a day go by without reminding him how much you love him. The day will come where you will have to let him go and as difficult as it will be, know that you have raised a confident, loving and sensitive young man and that he will survive the world that awaits him.

 

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