I attended a Weight Watchers training recently where we were asked to describe ourselves “before” Weight Watchers and “after” once the whole weight loss thing finally fell into place. During the exercise the one word that popped into my head to describe me before was “denial.”
I hadn’t really thought about it again until this morning when I was flooded with words and feelings that described me “before” and “now.” I rushed to grab a notebook and jot them down, since I’ve learned from previous experience that these early morning thoughts, which hover on the cusp between my conscious and unconscious minds, are fleeting.
Here’s what I came up with…
Before losing weight and learning to keep it off I would describe myself as:
Frustrated
In denial
“Big boned”
“Sluggish thyroid”
Out of control
Angry
Anxious
Suffering from nutrition information overload
Unaware
Reactive
Unprepared
Unconscious
Shackled
Jealous
Bloated
Uncomfortable
Fat
Matronly
All-or-nothing thinking
Stuck
Afraid
Addicted
Dependent
Moody
Unpredictable
Impatient
Impulsive
Controlled by food
Sluggish
Tortured
Disconnected
Alone
Ashamed
Hurt
Wounded
Victim
Confused
Uncertain
Awkward
Restricted
Searching/Seeking
Un-accepting
Driven
Lacking
Needy
Heavy
Serious
Judgmental
Self-conscious
Asleep
Disordered
Discontent
After finally getting it (which didn’t happen the first time I made lifetime, later) I would use these words to describe myself today:
Accepting
Awake
Comfortable
Appreciative
Grateful
Peaceful
Calm
Ordered
Structure
Content
Capable
Free
Balanced
Settled
In-control/In-charge
Compassionate
Kind
Trusting (of myself and others)
Okay
Simple
Confident
Happy
It’s just food
Connected
Coordinated
Light
Sensible
Curious
Experimental
In-touch
It’s amazing how differently I see myself and the world now. I don’t know the exact moment it happened. Suddenly one day I realized everything was different, as though a switch in my brain had been flipped from off to on and I was no longer fumbling around in the dark.
There’s a peace around food, eating, and my sense of self as it relates to food and my body that I could have never predicted. I didn’t come without years of work. But it was so worth it. For years my affirmation was, “I’m easily and effortlessly maintaining my ideal weight.” I wrote it on index cards and in my journal and repeated it countless times a day.
I still think it to myself during my morning walk, and now, finally, it’s true.
And for this and so much more I am very very grateful.
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I attended a Weight Watchers training recently where we were asked to describe ourselves “before” Weight Watchers and “after” once the whole weight loss thing finally fell into place. During the exercise the one word that popped into my head to describe me before was “denial.”
I hadn’t really thought about it again until this morning when I was flooded with words and feelings that described me “before” and “now.” I rushed to grab a notebook and jot them down, since I’ve learned from previous experience that these early morning thoughts, which hover on the cusp between my conscious and unconscious minds, are fleeting.
Here’s what I came up with…
Before losing weight and learning to keep it off I would describe myself as:
After finally getting it (which didn’t happen the first time I made lifetime, later) I would use these words to describe myself today:
It’s amazing how differently I see myself and the world now. I don’t know the exact moment it happened. Suddenly one day I realized everything was different, as though a switch in my brain had been flipped from off to on and I was no longer fumbling around in the dark.
There’s a peace around food, eating, and my sense of self as it relates to food and my body that I could have never predicted. I didn’t come without years of work. But it was so worth it. For years my affirmation was, “I’m easily and effortlessly maintaining my ideal weight.” I wrote it on index cards and in my journal and repeated it countless times a day.
I still think it to myself during my morning walk, and now, finally, it’s true.
And for this and so much more I am very very grateful.
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