Water(melon) Weight

A couple of weeks ago, Nicole was talking about the magical 'gift' her husband has for picking out an excellent watermelon. And yes, y'all, I have to admit...that I, too, have "the gift." I'm clearly jinxing myself by admitting this, but in the past two years, I have only once cut into a watermelon and not had it be delicious--even out of season--and then, it was simply a matter of being overripe, which I blame on leaving it too long on the kitchen table without cutting into it. This knack I've developed comes mostly from intuition, sheer luck, and the fact that I believe the ugly melons are often the best melons. (Can melons have an "ugly duckling" syndrome?) However, when I would give tutorials in the teachers' lounge last fall about picking out the perfect watermelon, these are the signs I recommend looking for: 1. A white patch. I've read that this white patch means that the melon was able to rest and ripen on the ground for a long period of time. I'm not sure whether the white part got too much sunlight and was bleached, of it was the part that sat on the ground, but either way, I've found that the lighter melons are often sweeter. [We might prefer to to look at beautiful green melons, but that white patch...that's the sign of melon maturity. :)] 2. A visible stem on the watermelon's rump. A rump with a stump, if you will [and you will]. 3. While a little dirt won't hurt (and I actually find comfort in it feeling so "close to the earth"). You do NOT want visible scarring, but that half-moon scratch was the result of a slightly-too-sharp left turn to beat a light on the way home from the store. At least it was only skin deep. [And conveniently gives the whole rump a sad face...see it?]
4. Local is generally better (because that usually means they are "in season" wherever you happen to be), and a cute name is not mandatory, but it does give me a quirky sense of joy to buy a WHAT-a-Melon, rather than something without a pun-ny name. :)
5. Price DOES matter. If the watermelons are on sale, there is a surplus, meaning a whole lot have ripened and readied at the same time. They are probably also good. Cheap doesn't mean poor quality when it comes to produce.
6. I wouldn't rely on the "thump" test. All watermelons sound hollow. It shouldn't sound like water splashing around if you shake it, and a heavier watermelon is usually juicier...but I don't think the 'traditional' methods are failsafe.
If you're curious about cantaloupe, many of the same strategies apply. Instead of white patches, you want to get the most white 'veins' you can. Green means it is, in fact, green---as in novice, new, unskilled...or unripe, in this case. The more green you can see on the outside, the thicker the rind, and the less viable melon goodness inside. You definitely don't want to hear liquid sloshing around when you shake it, and you should be able to press in on the belly button so that it gives a little without too much pressure. In fact you should feel like the whole watermelon is giving---just a little bit. If you smell the belly-button (a weird notion for humans, but for melons, it's OK), it should smell sweet. However, this is not always fool-proof, because I've heard that melons that have been frozen for transport---again, while local IS better---lose their smell. If you aren't going to use the whole 'loupe right away, keep the seeds in it before wrapping it up and sticking it in the fridge. The seeds---much like the pit of a stone fruit--help it stay juicy and sweet. Good luck, my little water--and other--melon warriors!
And get ready to gain the water(melon) weight that comes from overindulgence in the sweetest, most succulent, and seriously satisfying taste of summer.
[As you saw a few weeks ago , I'm already well on my way....or should I say "weigh"? ;)]