After having a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I wasn't too concerned about getting pregnant again. If it happened, it happened. A part of me really wanted to be pregnant as I was trying to cope with the loss of our first child. Well surprise, surprise that little want was satisfied sooner than I would have thought... turns out about a month after miscarrying I found out I was pregnant again. I was pretty thrilled and headed back to the same doctors office that I had gone to for my first pregnancy. They were not quite as thrilled as I since I had been told to not get pregnant, but I didn't care.
This pregnancy turned out to be harder on me than I had thought it would be. I had a ton of cramping in my first trimester with my son and was overwhelmed with the feeling that I was going to lose him too. I remember sitting on the floor of where I worked bawling because the cramping was bad and knowing that there was nothing I could do. I was an emotional wreck and started wishing that I wasn't pregnant again because I was so stressed out about the whole thing. I was just coming back to walking with the Lord and was still not able to really put my trust and faith in Him to know that whatever happened I would be okay. Thankfully, since I now have a healthy four year old, the pregnancy progressed.
Around 10 - 12 weeks I went in to hear the heart beat. After about 10 minutes of trying the doctor couldn't find it. I tried to not panic. The doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound to make sure the baby was okay, but from the little I had heard about ultrasounds, I wanted to avoid having one if I could. So she grabbed another doctor and had her try and find the heart beat and low-and-behold after about a minute of trying we heard a healthy beat. Turns out the first doctor hadn't been pushing hard enough or searching in the right place (the second doctor showed the first what she was doing wrong). I'm glad another doctor had come in before I got sent to get an ultrasound. After hearing the heart beat I began to relax, especially as I headed into the second trimester.