Fort Pilar Altar
All I wanted for this trip was quiet time and ponder my life these past few months. Don’t ask why I have to have some quite time in Zamboanga City, it just happened but my trip there on the first week of November was a valuable one. While most people I know have established themselves with their own chosen path, it’s not the case for me. I’m in the stage of my life where I have to test the waters whether this career is for me or not. But sometimes the only choice I have is to dive in.
City Hall of Zamboanga City
I had a great time in Zamboanga. I was reminded of the threat of going there but I believe that Zamboanga is a safer place to be than being in Manila. I was able to see the city, travel to the mountains, have lunch by the beach and taught my friend’s kids and her in-law’s kids how to make pizza and mochi ( adzuki bean paste and chocolate truffle ). The house was in chaos with kids who have the zeal to make their own pizza. Their “living at the present moment” is so evident and positive. I want their passion and enthusiasm in life… where did it go? The mothers were happy to learn how to make the dough for the mochi and even indulge ourselves with a slice of White Chocolate Cheesecake with Oreo Crust and Mango Coulis. Oops, I know, the cream cheese and the Oreo cookies are not whole food. Even with a lot noise and disorder in the house, that day was a day of fulfillment. The pizza was not perfect, the kitchen is dirty and the top portion of the cheesecake was slightly burnt (I forgot to check it when every kid needs attention), but life is not perfect, and good old friends and even new friends makes my life sane.
Seafood dishes at La Vista del Mar
During those times, I was able to write on my journal anything I want to write. Back in elementary school, we used to call it diary. I’m pretty sure you have one of those too where you scribble the meaningful events for that day. But these days, my journal is consist of my ups and downs, my answered prayers from God, my downfalls and victories, my irritations and my composure, my vague and clear ideas as well as my goals and dreams in life. From there, I discovered something what I’ve written more than a year ago (well, one of those things)
My purpose is to use whole foods as a healing instrument or tool to improve people's health; to teach people about the importance of health and nutrition through food and cooking..
I stopped and thought carefully and instinctively with an “aha moment” that the reason my creativity and talent in cooking is not flourishing profusely, it’s because I am not aligned with my purpose. But then again, I could be wrong. Someone once told me that he knows that I have the talents and the skills, but I am just fearful to do it. And he knows that I can do it. But for this past few days, I am discouraged with my work and even if I did my job, my job is not loving me back. It's the battlefield of the mind...your ideas are not good enough, just keep it to yourself; should I add this ingredient; they may not like it; maybe I should ask permission if I should add this component; you can’t trust your own judgment; you’re doing the wrong thing; you’re not paying attention to the details. And sometimes, I know exactly what to do but I err in doing the simplest task just because I doubt myself. Oh, it’s the little things that could make or break you.
at Fort Pilar
But I know that the hindrances or even doubts that I’m experiencing right now is not the fault of other people but my own accountability. But moving through the thwart of wilderness and on to my breakthrough needs a change of my belief system that I am truly God’s workmanship. He placed me here on earth for a reason and with a great purpose in life. But that purpose in life still needs to be illuminated where I will act with bliss and excitement through every step of the journey that God has placed on my path..
Love and light,