Not content with wrecking your autonomic nervous system with their existing drugs, a group of drug companies have got together at the Maudesly and Institute of Psychiatry to produce this monstrosity
Professor Shitij Kapur, Dean of the Institute of Psychiatry at King's and Leader of the Managing Entity comments: 'NEWMEDS is a very timely experiment. While the biology of psychiatry has made remarkable progress, we have been slow in converting that into innovative and new medications."
But Mr Kapur, there are hundreds of innovative and new medications, even if they don't work well. Although the good professor is right, they are not addictive and people don't like taking them. There is a "withdrawal" syndrome, but people don't crave the drugs. Its difficult, but not impossible to stop taking prescription drugs.
Translate Professor Kapur's remarks, he means: "Despite the last thirty years of drug based experiments in the field of mental health - we have little to show for it. Rather than admit we are wrong we will throw more money in the hope of more significant financial rewards"
and because of "a lack of accurate animal models to guide the drug discovery, a lack of tools and tests in healthy volunteers that can provide early indication of efficacy; and the reliance of clinical trials on symptom-based Diagnostic and Statistical Manual categories which inevitably leads to biologically heterogeneous groups of patients. NEWMEDS aims to overcome these limitations with a novel approach to drug discovery and strong collaboration within the consortium."
If something doesn't work - like animal experiments and the psychiatric approach, I love it when Stupid suggests you keep doing it.
Beware though - this project is looking for "volunteers". This list of names might give you all the confidence and encouragement you need. AstraZeneca, Eli Lilly, GlaxoSmithKline, Janssen Pharmaceutica, Novartis, Orion, Pfizer, Roche, Servier and Wyeth.
If you want to shorten your prison sentence or notch up some hours of community service this could be your breakthrough