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Disease Management Tells Us Why There Are So Many Black Holes

Posted Dec 02 2008 3:08am
And so it came to pass in the days of Medicare Health Support that there was great gnashing of teeth and consternation of the disease management organizations’ CEOs. So each CEO went up alone to his or her computer screen and came upon a WEB CAM, and the WEB CAM was activated and pointed at the CEO and the computer screen together.

When they gazed upon the computer screen, each image from the WEB CAM was of a screen with a WEB CAM image with a screen of a WEB CAM image with a screen and so forth and so on. And the physics were such that each image was slightly delayed compared to the previous screen image. The CEOs found that by looking into the delayed images of the delayed images of the delayed images and so on and so forth that the delays could be summated one upon the other and they could peer into the distant past.

And they looked onto joyous days that were upon disease management before Medicare Health Support. They lusted mightily for those past days of prodigious commercial growth, publication of flawed peer-reviewed studies and the adoration of all those who sought the Big Bang Solution To All That Ails Health Care. They compared those blissful times to the present age of great despondence, filled with heinous stipulations of “evidence,” and “proof.” They pondered greatly and silently wondered if pursuing Medicare Health Support was a grievous blunder. The wished they could go back and right what was wrong. They were desirous of a do-over.

But more physics intruded. For across the oceans a great and powerful supercollider that spun subatomic particles of infinitesimal smallness was borne of man’s curiosity about spaghettification and the antigravitational implications of Aretha Franklin’s bodice. Alas, man’s intellectual hubris failed to heed warnings that supercolliders can spawn planet-munching world-chomping black holes. For the CEOs’ WEB CAMS pointed the wrong way. They discerned the past, but were unable to foretell the future.

And it happened that one day when the supercollider on-switch was pressed upon, another black hole was created. A cataclysmic reaction sucked Earth into an event horizon vortex of singularity that created a rent in the time-space continuum. But a worm hole emerged and the Earth was propelled to a past time in another universe. The CEOs had their do-over.

But the Metaverse had the last laugh. For despite James T Kirk’s exploits, time travel also results in memory befuddlement. And so the CEOs fell onto Medicare Health Support, again. And, after the passing of some time, they again coveted for the days before Medicare Health Support. And then another black hole was created.

And so it happened again and again and again.
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