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The Orange and I: Proof of the Power of the Subconscious

Posted Feb 08 2013 2:40pm

About two weeks ago, my mentor (formally known here as my healer) and I made a list of 12 things I wanted to accomplish in the near future.

Truth be told, I completely forgot about the list.

Then a few days ago, she had me bring an orange to our meeting.  My task was to peel the orange and divide up the segments, assigning a part of my life or a goal to each segment.  Guess how many there were?

Yup, 12 segments (there were 2 mini segments that combined was the size of 1 regular one).

We went through the list and checked off different items.  Lighten my hair? Check.  Have movie nights and get-togethers with friends? Check.  Tighten my relationship with my sister? In progress. Work on my business? Also in progress.

In fact, the creation of the list was so powerful in my subconscious that I checked off (or checked off as in progress) 8 out of the 12 items, and the remaining 2 became irrelevant or obsolete.  If that doesn’t show both the power of the subconscious mind and writing down goals, then I really don’t know what does.

What amazes me most though is how incredible of a month January was for me.  In the past, January has been one of my tougher months.  I think it’s that way for a lot of people.  We go from a slew of holidays from October through New Years and then all of a sudden it’s back to work and back to school, with cold days, snow, and at times minimal sunshine (unless you live in Colorado, in which case you experience more days of sunshine a year than Florida—that’s actually true!).

January has always been kind of blah, which is why it felt like a tabula rasa, a clean state.  I set some goals and intentions for myself and each day kept plugging away, remembering where I ultimately want to end up.  The result was a fantastic month full of friends, laughter, and new opportunities.

Some of the great things that happened in January include:

  •     Enjoying a fun and fabulous happy hour at a restaurant in downtown Denver
  •     Spending time with my godson and his family
  •     Eating funfetti cookies that my sister made
  •     Joining a Maximized Living office and crafting a new definition of wellness
  •     Running almost 5 miles (the longest distance I’ve gone in a single run so far)
  •     Enriching my mind through great books (I finished Spirit Junkie, Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper, Outliers, Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer and continued reading Cleopatra and A Return to Love)
  •     Savoring a lot of great days in which nothing spectacular happened but nothing upsetting happened either

In February, here’s what I’m looking forward to:

  •  Workbook release! I know I’ve promised this workbook for a while now, but I’ve been toying with the idea of releasing for free (!), which means I have to set that up
  •  The Celtics beating the Nuggets this Sunday (fingers crossed!)
  •  Attending a James Bond themed party this Friday
  •  Organizing and settling into my new digs
  •  Celebrating my baby cousin’s 2nd birthday
  •  More running (because I’m now thoroughly enjoying it!!)
  • Laughing, loving, and living a life that makes me excited to wake up in the morning

I can’t tell you how amazing it is to be living this new normal.  There were large portions of my life where I truly believed I was destined to be miserable, depressed, and anxious on a daily basis.  Good days were rare and I was lacking in self-love and self-confidence.

Oh how the turn tables (Office joke).

Now, feeling good is my new normal. Down days as I call them are the rarity.  Honestly, sometimes I still get a little freaked out by it.  I’m guilty of waiting for the other shoe to drop but I’ve learned how to pacify that fear and not let it turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What’s on my mind today though is how to deal with other people when they don’t fully embrace or support the changes you are making in your life.  This comes to mind because there are a few people in my life who have my best interest at heart, but disagree with some of the choices I’m making.  It’s a tough thing to deal with, because we all want the people who say they love us and care about us to jump on our bandwagon of growth and transformation.

In reality, that doesn’t always happen and it’s disheartening when you don’t get the support you’re craving.  So what do we do when this scenario rolls around?

Be Your Own Best Support/Cheerleader

This is a toughie for a lot of us because we are inclined to be our biggest critics.  You know how people say that those who have been devastated in love have the ability to love more deeply?  The depth of our hurt mirrors the depth of our capacity to love.  I think the same goes for self-criticism and support.  Those of us who are brutally judgmental towards ourselves have a great capacity to be supportive, you just need to turn the energy around.

It doesn’t happen all at once, but with sustained effort you can rewire your brain to be supportive instead of destructive.  Start with small positive affirmations such as, my hair looks good today, I did a good job on that assignment/school project, I’m proud of how I dealt with that difficult situation. 

Smaller affirmations help you gain trust in yourself, because no one starts off with sh*tty self-esteem and believes a glowing affirmation about themselves on the first go.  Once you believe the littler things, you can move onto the bigger fish!

Disagreements are natural & change is scary; give them time to adjust

Change is naturally difficult for most of the human population.  We prefer a homeostatic environment because that’s what feels the safest.  When someone rocks the boat, it can throw us off guard and that can cause rifts and tiffs.  If someone disagrees with your new lifestyle or internal changes, give them time to acclimate.

When we take the step to initiate growth and transformation within ourselves, other people wonder what it will mean for the relationship and I think at the root of that is the fear that they will be “outgrown.”  If the people who are important to you aren’t supporting your new metamorphosis, take the time to ask them about their concerns and what their real worries are.

Keep focused on your vision

I understand it can be hard to not be distracted when it comes to honing in on achieving your goals, especially when the distraction comes in the form of a lack of support from someone you care about.  What keeps me going is knowing that right now, at this very moment, I have everything I need to be happy and create a successful life.  Even if something changes tomorrow, I have confidence that change only happens when we have the tools we need to deal with it and overcome it.

In the book Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer, the author, Greg Braden, talks about the universe only presents us with challenges when we are ready to face them.  This means that the breakup you’re going through, the issues at work, or that personal crisis has only come your way because you have what it takes to overcome it.  I know it sucks in the moment and it’s easy to feel like the universe, God, or your higher power of choice is picking on you, but it gives me hope and strength to realize that I’m not given anything I can’t handle.

 

How do you keep focused on your vision? What is your best tip for being your own support team?

(I was really honored to have an article posted on Tiny Buddha! If you are here because of that article, thank you and welcome!!)

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