Personal growth development – can we get out of our ruts and change?
Posted Oct 06 2009 10:00pm
Being seduced by the comfort of routine and the known is one of the ways we limit ourselves. Doing more about our inertia, we can grow more effectively toward who we want to be.
Inertia is the concept in classical physics that a physical object resists any change in its state of motion.
But doesn’t that also apply to ruts in our attitudes and behaviors?
For example, I may understand that a change would be a good thing – such as being more social and connecting with more people who would appreciate my sites and possibly enhance my business success – but being more social is “not natural” for me. I’m more comfortable being reclusive. So I change little, or only slowly.
Positive change may require some discomfort, and alterations in our beliefs.
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”
Fortgang explains how we may limit making changes even though they might be just what we need: “Reasons for why a given change will be hard, difficult or even impossible are always plentiful, but whose reasons are they?
“Most of the time, the logical explanation or circumstantial evidence we come up with when confronted with the prospect of change is societal, and doesn’t stem from our own personal heart and mind. And these explanations are only true if you let them be true.
“It becomes your job to disprove logic and naysayers, even if you yourself are the source of both.”
Anais Nin made some very stimulating observations on the complexity of our personal growth, saying “We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially.
“We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
“Deep, dark, surprising and frightening, our ability to feel anger is one of our most powerful weapons in building a liberated and empowered life.
“It enables us to build friendships and other growth-oriented alliances. It keeps us safe from attack. It motivates us to make the changes essential to a rich and fulfilled life.”
Does change have to be hard?
In his article Behavior Change Doesn’t Have to be Difficult, Morty Lefkoe, founder of The Lefkoe Method, notes “Although most therapists would agree that behavior change usually is difficult and does not happen overnight, I disagree with that assessment.”
Lefkoe and his associates have used his Decision Maker Belief Process to “eliminate the beliefs that cause our behavioral and emotional patterns.
“Some of the feeling patterns that clients have presented and gotten rid of after eliminating the underlying beliefs include fear, hostility, shyness, anxiety, depression, and worrying about what people think of them.
“Behavioral patterns eliminated included phobias, relationships that never seem to work, violence, procrastination, unwillingness to confront people, eating disorders, drug and alcohol addiction, and sexual dysfunction.”