I had a post all planned out for this week. It was mostly written and ready to go. Then life happened--as it so often does when we're making other plans. Suddenly, the post I had written just didn't say what I had on my heart.
This is what a torn ACL looks like...and that's me. Sigh. It happened so fast! All I remember is that I took a step in my kitchen and immediately fell straight forward like I'd been shot from a sling shot. I popped right back up and was hopping around before I knew anything had even occurred. Within five minutes, my knee looked just like that picture. It literally popped out like that within minutes.
My first thought was: How will I take care of the kids? I'm the mom of a large family, and I have a lot of people depending on me--three of them can't even walk yet! As my knee continued to swell to grotesque proportions, my fears continued to rise. All of my daily duties were running through my mind on a metal to-do list. I knew that friends would step up to help--and they have. I am also very blessed to have a wonderfully helpful husband who is a great dad. But, still there seemed to be no reasonable solution in which everything would be accomplished and the kids would get the level of attention and parenting that I love to bestow on them (myself). And these were all worries I started having within five minutes of my injury.
One thing, One Day, One Challenge at a Time.
Things happen. Having a large family and a lot of responsibilities doesn't exempt us from the trials and inconveniences of life. In fact, the opposite is often true.
This is a quote from an email I received yesterday from a dear, sweet friend who wanted to encourage me in my frustration: YOU were made to be dangerous to the enemy.Stand up in your heart, resist him and any discouraging thoughts he will try to use to steal, kill and destroy your faith, hope and joy. Keep your armor on amidst this, no matter how hard it is with everything that's going on around you. It will settle you, keep you in peace, strengthen you, help you and uphold you.
I love those words. We are made to be dangerous to the enemy. I don't believe that my injury is God's way of slowing me down as some people have suggested. I believe the opposite, actually. When you're busy for God, it's natural for His enemy to come against you. He has blessed me (us) with many children, a youth group to lead, lots of other responsibilities to youth in the form of my books and websites...why would He call me (or any of us) to such a level of service and then "cripple" us in one form or another? That's why I smell a rat--Satan's afoot!
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. (1 Pet 5:8, KJV)
Is he nipping at your heels, too? Has he come against you and tried to get in the way of all you're doing for the Lord? Recognize him for what he is and let that knowledge encourage you and fuel you. If he fights against you, he must be scared of you. If he attacks you, me must want to stop what you're doing. So KEEP going!
It's been six days since my injury. Here's an updated picture of the damage. Surgery is likely on the horizon, and I have a long road of recovery ahead of me. But, in this short time since I fell, I've enjoyed three decadently delicious meals brought to us by precious friends. I've had the opportunity to sit and talk with friends as as they played with my children--who, by the way, seemed none too sad to have new friends. I got to watch Megan take five steps unassisted. I was so privileged to watch my triplets play together as a threesome, laughing, tickling, chasing each other, for the first time ever--perhaps they wouldn't have experienced that joy if I'd been in the center of them. And, my heart swells with gratitude to announce that my son is in the final stages of acceptance into the Air Force Academy--this news I received today.
Guess what. It's not about me. Life, joy, accomplishment, success, happiness...it all continued in front of me, not because of me. What a freeing, yet humbling realization. I can let go, and let God. It's not all about ME! I hope you're able to let go sometimes. It's only when we're weak that we're able to fully realize His strength.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. "For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor 12:10, NIV).