"You can do hard" is one of my community's ways of reminding us that we need not run away in fear just because something is greatly challenging. It might be daunting, but we can do daunting. It might even be scary, but we can do scary. No matter how bad it is -- and it could be very bad for a while -- we can do it. Bo Lozoff in It's a Meaningful Life
Last night, C.C. and I joined two other couples for a wonderful evening of great food, conversation and sharing (thank you D & R and R & W). At one point, we each stated "A significant moment for me in 2009 was..." And, after we had gone around the circle, we each answered the question: "What would you dare to do this year if you had no fear?"
I can do easy too. And simple. And fun. And so many ways. I can. Do it! Anyway I choose.
Last week, while teaching a self-esteem course at the shelter, the phrase kept coming up, "It's too hard to..."
What if? I asked. What if you reframe that statement by asking the question, "Who said it will be hard?"
What if you ask yourself "How do I want to experience what I need to do? Do I want to believe it's hard, or do I want to believe its doable?"
What if, telling myself it's too hard is really just a cop out?
What if, convincing myself it's too hard to do is the best way to avoid feeling like a failure, or taking risks or simply avoid doing the right thing today to move me one step closer to my goal of reclaiming my life away from homelessness -- or anything that is limiting my joy in living my life for all I'm worth?
What if, it's up to me how I do it, regardless.
I just do.
As we went around the circle last night, sharing our ideas and dreams and feelings about 'how hard' last year was for some of us, and the growth that came out of that hard time, I was struck with a very deep, real truth for me.
Hard or soft, my growth comes when I keep moving through my fear of doing the things I resist.
I resist turning up for me. I keep turning up for me, in all my messy attitude, because turning up for me keeps me growing, keeps me learning, keeps me real.
I resist looking at my accountability in creating my life today. I keep holding myself accountable for creating my life today, in all my awkwardness, because if I'm not accountable for my life, who is? Do I really want Jo Blow to hold my life in their hands and make me dance?
I resist finding my own path. I keep walking my path in all its awkward, messy darkness turning into light, because walking my path is the only place I can find myself being real.
I resist losing weight, writing, dreaming, exercising, speaking my truth, and a host of other 'to do's' I tell myself I need to do and end up hating myself for not doing. I keep turning up, opening up, expanding into myself. Within me is everything I need to know, to do, to be, to live the life of my dreams. And when I keep moving into my resistance, I embrace my fear and cast light upon the darkness I fear so much. When I let go of resisting the things about me I tell myself I hate, I surrender my resistance and fall in Love.
Hate cannot drive out hatred. Only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Saying, it's too hard, is just another way of resisting change. It's just a way to give myself an opportunity to let myself down, easy. When I say, 'it's too hard', I'm really saying, "Quick. Give me another reason to hate myself for not doing what I need to do to live the life of my dreams. Then, whew, I don't gotta do nothin' 'cuz I've just proven I'm worth nothin' but what I've got."
Regardless of how I judge the measure of my task, I can do it when I take my eyes off the pavement beneath my feet and focus my sights on living the life of my dreams. When I believe I can and stop measuring my progress against how hard, or easy, a step will be, I soar.
The question is: Are you letting yourself off the hook of being accountable for your life by telling yourself, it's too hard? Or, are you accepting, I can do hard. I can do easy. I can do anything. I can. Do it!