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Got a little scared

Posted Oct 24 2009 10:05pm

Last night, when I was getting ready for bed I think I had a moment where reality hit me a little bit.  I got a little scared to think about the future.  Okay, I got a lot scared.  I know we will be fine financially but I want to start bringing in money as soon as possible.  What if I fail at this?  There is no one I can put the blame on but myself.  I know that I need to tell myself that I will not fail, but……a  lot of pressure and quite exciting.

I’m working on designing my own website for Happiness Awaits.  I haven’t done any coding or design work in ages.  I am definitely a squeaky wheel so it is taking longer than normal to get basic things to work.  But I do feel the reward will definitely be worth it once I get the site moved over to my own control.  But working in databases, creating email accounts, log ins, working in a server and doing CSS work has been interesting.  But once I get it down, maybe that will be a way I can bring in a little bit of money.  Who knows.

So I have been up this morning early, with a cup of Irish Breakfast Tea, working on the new website.  I am also going to look through the local paper and try and see about jobs.  I have also filled out paperwork to volunteer at the hospital and to read to children one night a week at the library.  There is also an after school volunteer organization for kids from 4-6pm that I may go try out once or twice. 

I was going to go buy a new dress for the wedding I am in (that I am reading in) but due to the impending financial doom, I am going to have to hold myself back and say no.  Time to go shopping in my own closet and hope for the best.

To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. If I keep feeling around in the dark, hopefully I’ll eventually find the light.


To Smile,


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