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face my fears...

Posted May 17 2010 3:17am
I had a completely different post in mind for this morning, but then I figured I could always write about that another time as instead, right now, there is an issue growing in my brain... FEAR...
Those of you who read my posts know I love yoga. I also have a yoga crush on kathryn Budig. What you don’t know is I suck at yoga!! Even though I have been doing it pretty regularly for the past 5 years, I don’t seem to get any more flexible or any better at the practice itself! I have been a “runner” for about 20 years and until I found yoga I never took the time to stretch... so needless to say I am EXTREMELY tight from the hips below. This is a disadvantage when trying out many yoga poses. However, because I love love LOVE how I feel afterwards, I keep going.
Now another aspect of yoga that I have a love/fear thing for is inversions. Going upside down... I have finally been able to do a headstand, not touching the wall,,,but with it very close by. That is about as far as I have gone. This brings me back to my fear. The workshop that is closing in on me (a little over 2 weeks away) is all about being upside down. When it was a couple months away I felt so excited, charged and ready for what ever she would throw at me. Now as it is getting closer I hear the little demon bird in my head saying,, “can you really afford to go there again? What if you get hurt? You probably will make a fool of yourself and be the only one that can’t pull any of it off... why waste your time and money??” “I bet there is still time to cancel and get my money back”...Just writing this I feel the pit in my stomach growing. I sat with it for a minute and realized it was my old buddy fear talking. Disguised as demon bird and stomach pit.. its just plain old fear.
What exactly is the fear about?? Fear of getting hurt is huge,, landing on my head and twisting my neck. Fear of everyone else there being advanced in all these types of poses and me being the only “loser” near the wall. Fear of the class being huge and me getting stuck in the back and never daring to ask for help. Fear that I will come home, no better a yogi than I went in.. ahhh the list goes on!
I really really REALLY want to face this fear head on. I want to feel the fear and do it anyways.. I am actually sharing this as I hope it will push me into going no matter what! I know in my heart that if I DON’T go I will regret it more than anything,,, but sometimes fear is so strong it outweighs that at the time.
I am hoping some of you out there can give me helpful hints and rational insight into how to handle the fear and go for it no matter what??
What are some of the ways you face a tremendous fear in life? How do you cope and push past the demon bird and its squeaky voice??
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