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Embracing Singleness

Posted Sep 01 2011 5:10pm

So my happiness of the day is my state of singleness.  Yes.  I am single.  No boy.  And I am happy with this.  Honestly, I’ve never had a boyfriend.  Not even close. I want to make something clear.  I don’t like being single because I am wild…I’m not… I’ve never had a one night stand, I’ve never even had a random make-out sesh.  You don’t miss what you’ve never had I guess.  Okay so being single doesn’t make me happy.  BUT it doesn’t make me unhappy…usually.  It is just the way it is.

Okay let me back up.  The last 24 hours have been strange in the marriage department.  I’m 25 so I better get used to this.  Yesterday I found out the following: 1) my band director from highschool (I was in marching band and I knew him pretty well) got married – I am so happy, mostly because he really didn’t have a life besides his students seven (!!) years ago when I was in highschool; 2) one of my best friends from highschool picked a date for her wedding; 3) a boy I very casually dated and I stopped seeing when school got too busy (actually he wanted to see me too much for my ever-single state of life) got engaged; 4) I called my grandpa to wish him happy anniversary today (my grandma died 2 months ago) and he had forgotten that it was his anniversary so I feel really guilty I reminded him.

Apparently marriage is all around me.  Not to mention one of my best friends just celebrated her 3 year anniversary with her boyfriend.  So for 24-hours I was in a sort of ‘what is wrong with me’ funk.  And it hit me: I don’t have a boyfriend because I am not interested!  I have a lot going on in my life…I am selfish.  Or is that selfish?  It is really my choice that I don’t have a boyfriend.  Sure I go on dates.  But I don’t need or want a boyfriend.  So attitude adjustment.  I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t WANT a boyfriend.  When I find a boy that manages to weasel his way to the top of my priorities it will happen.  Until then I will embrace that I can use this time in my life to fully plan my schedule around what I want and what I need to do.  Is that selfish?  Who cares.  Yes, I am working on figuring out how I can be happier but I think it is so important for me to know that a boyfriend won’t necessarily make me happier.

I would love to hear anybody’s thoughts.  Are you single?  Are you married?  Did you date?  Do you date?

Emily


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