Recently on a radio show, I was asked what I think is the biggest challenge that people have. As a life coach for the last nine years I have noticed certain tendencies. I don’t know if I can boil it down to just one thing, but I’ll give it a try.
Many of us have the mistaken belief that when what bothers us goes away that we’ll be happy. Or at least less stressed. While that may be true temporarily, it doesn’t last very long. It’s not the circumstance that is causing the problem, but the patterns we have had our entire lives that determine how we react emotionally. Something that we perceive as negative affects our entire moods. We overreact to normal situations and find ourselves upset more often than we would like. When we’ve had a chance to reflect we can’t believe that we acted the way we did.
For example, business is tight right now. You think that when business picks up that you can relax. That’s not the case. And you don’t know if business will pick up in the current business you are in. And if it does you might not have as much time as you did before to enjoy yourself. And this could also apply to your relationships. Don’t wait to enjoy yourself. You might not get another chance. And if in our example business does pick up, you might have other problems such as relationship or health challenges. You will never get another chance to live this moment. Forget about this idea that “only if” something was different you could be happy. It not the circumstances but your beliefs about what the circumstances mean that determines your happiness. Happiness is a choice. Choose happiness.
Well I think that about covers it. I’ll explore it some more in a future blog.
Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.