Guy sees
girl. Girl sees guy. Guy and girl talk, dance at a great distance, sit
on a bench. . .and, it feels good inside! The ride home in the 'courting' wagon can be
very eventful. . .hands move, heads turn, lips touch, oops! The buggy mirror
gets all steamy. (I just hate when that happens to my buggy!) 
Blink. . .blink..oh,
I don't live in an Amish world. People don't have courting sofas in
the parlor anymore. Maybe that is it! If I would only have a courting
sofa made for my children when they have a 'friend' over.
Can't you see it? They can sit
on this special sofa to remind them that they are courting, not dating. Oh, my house doesn't have a parlor. Could the front porch
be as effective? So much pre-planning to be concerned about in a
courting world!
"Courting" is what many homeschool parents desire
for their
children. I will confess right away I was one of those homeschool parents, and might still be, to some degree. We want our children to believe courting is how a godly person finds a future spouse.
Some families don't even use the d-word (dating), hoping
their children never learn there is an alternative to courting. This means the family will be watching the weather channel and cable news, renting only G-rated movies and staying away from magazines in the grocery stores. And clearly, a church youth group is also on the 'not-to-do' list.
Ever since I thought of being a parent, I was determined to keep my dear children sheltered from the sexually perverted world. Since I didn't live at the North Pole, or in an underground cave, I lost too many waking hours feeling like I was the 'sexual purity' guard, instead of mom.
Do you know how much the world bombards us with perverted topics or immoral sex? Is there any person in America that doesn't know medication is available so you will be prepared 'when the time is right'? Just try preventing your child from exposure of sexual topics for a week and you will see what a consuming job it can be!
The philosophy of courting is very romantic, pure and safe. A young
person never, ever goes anywhere alone with a person of the opposite sex until marriage. Plain and simple - how hard can that be? If there is anything that young people can't do in-front of grandma they shouldn't be doing it! The rules vary from family to family on phone calls limits, type of entertainment shared, hand-holding, and if cheek or forehead kissing is allowed. 
Remember courting should not begin until marriage
is a viable outcome, therefore, courting in high school or even younger
is most
impractical because the "couple" is really not ready to marry. In a
courting world, a guy prepares to support his family before he
even thinks about looking for a suitable mate (a nice, sweet Christian
girl). At least this is the
perfect way for courting to begin.
If you have ever read any of the wonderful
Amish Christian romance novels, you know few characters succeed in
'staying pure' until their wedding
without ever so much as kiss. Even rarer are testimonies of real-life
people who say their first kiss was on their wedding day. Of course,
this makes all the girl's hearts melt. I have been told by my teen son,
with a big smile on his face, that girls tell him, "Guys are ten times more attractive when they wear purity rings." This may cause some
parents to re-think getting purity rings!
Every new homeschooling mom wonders where did the word 'courting' come from and why is it not still in
practice? "Have you heard
dating is learning how to divorce?" is a great ice-breaker for a
Mom's homeschool support meeting. That question should
scare any parent from ever letting their teens date.
Moms share the horrors of dating and try not to worry much about their teen since a teenager really can't support
his gal, and a family that will come, until he is at least in his mid-twenties
or thirties. That is a lot of hormones to post-pone, but at least she can take a deep cleansing breathe for about 10 more years.
My husband and I tease about not reminding our boys to use deodorant or even better let them use a whole can of cheap body spray. Both are sure ways to keep girls from being aggressors toward them. And, if our twelve year old daughter wants to wear 'Hello Kitty' shirts for the next four years, I will gladly keep buying them, along with her knee high striped socks and neon shoes. My philosophy - if it is working, don't fix it!
Though, on a serious note, I can't help but wonder how many of these 'courting' girls are all glistening in
beautiful white gown on her wedding day. Or, do they feel like dirt because they hold an unspeakable,
therefore an unconfessed, impure sin in their heart? This is what I
experienced on my wedding day - guilt, shame and feeling unworthy of wearing
white. No one shared repentance with me and how I could be whiter than
snow in my soul before I walked down the aisle!
When I first
heard about courting my children were just babies. I still lived in the
semi-idyllic world of 'my children will be different' for the Lord.
Determined by my faith in God, I wanted my children to never experience
heartbreaks, therefore it would be best if they never dated. I wanted them
to be set apart for Holy Matrimony.
While c0urting is a very noble ideal, purity can not be externally
enforced by
parent's rules. Purity has to grow in the heart of our teens. By working
to stay connected with our teens as they enter 'dating years' we open
the door for our children to come to us when they need to discuss
relationships. In the end, loving honest communication is the strongest
influence we can have in our teen's life.
Guy sees girl. Girl sees guy. Guy and girl talk, dance at a great distance, sit on a bench. . .and, it feels good inside! The ride home in the 'courting' wagon can be very eventful. . .hands move, heads turn, lips touch, oops! The buggy mirror gets all steamy. (I just hate when that happens to my buggy!)
Blink. . .blink..oh, I don't live in an Amish world. People don't have courting sofas in the parlor anymore. Maybe that is it! If I would only have a courting sofa made for my children when they have a 'friend' over.
Can't you see it? They can sit on this special sofa to remind them that they are courting, not dating. Oh, my house doesn't have a parlor. Could the front porch be as effective? So much pre-planning to be concerned about in a courting world!
"Courting" is what many homeschool parents desire for their children. I will confess right away I was one of those homeschool parents, and might still be, to some degree. We want our children to believe courting is how a godly person finds a future spouse.
Some families don't even use the d-word (dating), hoping their children never learn there is an alternative to courting. This means the family will be watching the weather channel and cable news, renting only G-rated movies and staying away from magazines in the grocery stores. And clearly, a church youth group is also on the 'not-to-do' list.
Ever since I thought of being a parent, I was determined to keep my dear children sheltered from the sexually perverted world. Since I didn't live at the North Pole, or in an underground cave, I lost too many waking hours feeling like I was the 'sexual purity' guard, instead of mom.
Do you know how much the world bombards us with perverted topics or immoral sex? Is there any person in America that doesn't know medication is available so you will be prepared 'when the time is right'? Just try preventing your child from exposure of sexual topics for a week and you will see what a consuming job it can be!
The philosophy of courting is very romantic, pure and safe. A young person never, ever goes anywhere alone with a person of the opposite sex until marriage. Plain and simple - how hard can that be? If there is anything that young people can't do in-front of grandma they shouldn't be doing it! The rules vary from family to family on phone calls limits, type of entertainment shared, hand-holding, and if cheek or forehead kissing is allowed.
Remember courting should not begin until marriage is a viable outcome, therefore, courting in high school or even younger is most impractical because the "couple" is really not ready to marry. In a courting world, a guy prepares to support his family before he even thinks about looking for a suitable mate (a nice, sweet Christian girl). At least this is the perfect way for courting to begin.
If you have ever read any of the wonderful Amish Christian romance novels, you know few characters succeed in 'staying pure' until their wedding without ever so much as kiss. Even rarer are testimonies of real-life people who say their first kiss was on their wedding day. Of course, this makes all the girl's hearts melt. I have been told by my teen son, with a big smile on his face, that girls tell him, "Guys are ten times more attractive when they wear purity rings." This may cause some parents to re-think getting purity rings!
Every new homeschooling mom wonders where did the word 'courting' come from and why is it not still in practice? "Have you heard dating is learning how to divorce?" is a great ice-breaker for a Mom's homeschool support meeting. That question should scare any parent from ever letting their teens date.
Moms share the horrors of dating and try not to worry much about their teen since a teenager really can't support his gal, and a family that will come, until he is at least in his mid-twenties or thirties. That is a lot of hormones to post-pone, but at least she can take a deep cleansing breathe for about 10 more years.
My husband and I tease about not reminding our boys to use deodorant or even better let them use a whole can of cheap body spray. Both are sure ways to keep girls from being aggressors toward them. And, if our twelve year old daughter wants to wear 'Hello Kitty' shirts for the next four years, I will gladly keep buying them, along with her knee high striped socks and neon shoes. My philosophy - if it is working, don't fix it!
Though, on a serious note, I can't help but wonder how many of these 'courting' girls are all glistening in beautiful white gown on her wedding day. Or, do they feel like dirt because they hold an unspeakable, therefore an unconfessed, impure sin in their heart? This is what I experienced on my wedding day - guilt, shame and feeling unworthy of wearing white. No one shared repentance with me and how I could be whiter than snow in my soul before I walked down the aisle!
When I first heard about courting my children were just babies. I still lived in the semi-idyllic world of 'my children will be different' for the Lord. Determined by my faith in God, I wanted my children to never experience heartbreaks, therefore it would be best if they never dated. I wanted them to be set apart for Holy Matrimony.
While c0urting is a very noble ideal, purity can not be externally enforced by parent's rules. Purity has to grow in the heart of our teens. By working to stay connected with our teens as they enter 'dating years' we open the door for our children to come to us when they need to discuss relationships. In the end, loving honest communication is the strongest influence we can have in our teen's life.