What I have noticed in my years as a life coach is the tendency of so many of us to judge what we’re feeling. This is what I mean. I am sure you are familiar with the “shoulds”…I should have done this…or I shouldn’t have done that. Or worse…what’s wrong with me….I shouldn’t feel this way. ” For example, being jealous of a good friends success. You’re thinking…I shouldn’t feel this way…they’re a good friend.
Well we are human and we are going to have these moments. But it doesn’t mean we flunked personal growth 101.
We all have heard many times…”don’t be so judgmental” and perhaps we have even given this advice to others. Here is a strategy that has been successful with helping some people that I work with get over these feelings.
1. Notice what you are feeling without judging. For example, if you are feeling down, just notice you are feeling down. Don’t go any further as to say to yourself, “Gee, what a loser, I am, for feeling this way.” Don’t get attached to the feeling…imagine it’s just a wind, breezing through.
2. Be curious. For example you might want to experiment with the following dialougue. That’s interesting. I have so much to be thankful for in my life, and yet I’m feeling kind of down.
3. Find the humor. This is the saving grace. It comes back to not taking ourselves so seriously.
Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. firstname.lastname@example.org 415.453.5016