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Another New Year

Posted Jan 22 2009 5:13pm
Kind of an anniversary here. I have been struggling with my weight for another year, recorded some of it publicly and ended weighing a little more than I started when I began this blog. It is a result - just not the one I wanted. I am amazingly chilled about it though which might have to do with the EFT tapping I have been doing. I will do even more as somebody has offered me some coaching just at the right time for me. I was thinking that I might be more effective working one to one with somebody.

I have also engaged a personal trainer who is going to kick my backside twice a week until March. It is the year of getting others to help me. I am a great one for wanting to do everything myself, be it here or in my business. Not this year - this year I am going to farm out a lot of the things I am rubbish at (the list is long!) and concentrate on what I am good at (luckily that list is not too short either).

My commitment is to get G into gainful employment working from home. Part of our contract negotiations is that I promise not to pester him before 12 noon as we have such different rhythms. I am up to 100 miles an hour within minutes of getting up - he needs an hour or two to get going.

The other news is that I have not touched a drop of alcohol since that fateful day in December when I did the aversion technique on myself whilst driving somewhere in the car. I describe it here The 'food' I chose to work with happened to be wine because I had decided I wanted to drink less regularly. So off I went in my mind to fill that spittoon outside this very busy Wild West saloon. And fill it they did! I imagined all those big yellow and green blobs swimming around ............................

Then I mentally washed the wine bottles in the spittoon. I have done this before and whilst gruesome, the picture fated very quickly and did not stick. But this time I suddenly felt myself shudder and I had to stop my mental movie, concentrating on driving again.

I had put a bottle of champagne in the fridge the next day to celebrate the start of G's Christmas break and our very own office party. I even put the bottle on the table in a wine cooler without a thought. But when it came to opening the bottle, I really did not want it and we put back into the fridge. Following that experience, I did not drink all the way through Christmas and New Years Eve parties.

When I used to think of wine, all sorts of pleasant associations used to come up like relaxation, nice taste, fun, laughter........ Now when I think of wine, there is nothing, nada, zero. My mind is just blank and there is no emotional reaction. Of course I had to test it and got G to open a bottle of wine for me over Christmas. That is when I got a negative emotion pulling me away and I never touched the full glass in front of me. During our New Years break with friends I had a glass of gin & tonic in front of me and sipped from it a couple of times. It tasted nice enough but I just did not want it and poured most of it down the sink.

It is very similar to giving up smoking actually, only that I had physical withdrawal symptoms to deal with when I stopped smoking. I am not sure how long I want it to last - at the moment it is just perfect the way it is and I am not feeling deprived or like I am missing something. I am just in awe how powerful my mind can control this. Makes me think what other things I unconsciously have learned to have an aversion to and my mind keeps me away from .........
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