February 12, 2013 by GiGi

Tony, you better S.T.F.U. before I come over there and shut you up myself.

Your processed flakes are complete and utter garbage with no fiber, 11 grams of sugar and next to no nutritional value.

(Shred paper, put it in a bowl, sprinkle sugar on top and eat. That’s essentially what you’re doing when you gobble up Frosted Flakes.)

It’s unfortunate that many celebrities started their careers promoting processed garbage like cereal (i.e. starring in food commercials)… What’s even more unfortunate is that many well-known celebrities currently star in junk food commercials because they’re blinded by their paychecks that look like phone numbers…

Is Chia Ti Wah a new rapper? His/Her price tag = $27,724.35

These foods they’re ingesting while rubbing down wet cars, laying out on the beach, and jamming out to their boom boxes… are the foods that are causing Earth’s waistline to balloon to epic proportions.

Lane Bryant doesn’t even have pants that can fit Earth’s expanding waist! 

Don’t let Brad Pitt’s sexy Pringle chomping ways lure you in…

Kellogg’s – Keanu Reeves

Did I just see Keanu’s “O face”?

Bubble Yum – Leonardo DiCaprio

“Only the yum is the fun that never blows out…” Why oh why do I have such a dirty mind!

Pringles – Brad Pitt

Angie, you better start eating… Looks like Brad likes a woman with an appetite.

Brown’s Chicken – Steve Carell

I want to kick something!! Chicken naturally contains cholesterol. I have a bone to pick with Steve.

Burger King – Brooke Burke

Huh? Who wears that get up to the beach?

Pizza Hut – Jessica Simpson

Pop right into you? WTF?! And this is NOT the only video…

PS: Can anyone tell me who’s voice that is in the voice over? If you guess right, I will award you by NOT giving you a pizza!

I want to smack every celebrity that cashes in on starring in unhealthy food commercials. (Although if Dunkin Donuts offered me $10,000 to star in one of their commercials, I wouldn’t say no… WHOOPS!)

Do these celebrities not realize that young (and old) moldable brains look up to them? By stripping down to their skivvies and rubbing burgers all of their bodies (ahem, Carl’s Jr. ads ) not only are they saying fast food and junk food are sexy (do chicken nuggets turn you on?) … But they’re also confusing kids into thinking bath time = going to Taco Bell or Subway (aka, an even bigger headache for parents). 

French Fry body wash… That must smell like the apartment of a group of hung over college guys after a weekend bender. 

What celebrity backed junk food do you think is the worst?

What was your favorite commercial during the Superbowl? 

How much would you have to be paid in order to star in a junk food ad?