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Tuesday Tunes --- I'm Alive

Posted Jan 05 2010 12:00am

Do you ever get weirded out by being on the same wavelength with someone? Especially someone you've never met in person? One you only know through their blog? But you feel connected to them in a way that you don't with people you see every day?

That happened to me yesterday. I read Kristen's blog The Beautiful Cayman Cindy every day. I love it. I love seeing pictures of Cayman and I love Kristen's pictures and her words. Kristen is such a genuine person and I really adore her. Right before Christmas a pacakage arrived for us. In it I found Kristen's beautiful Christmas card...and a brand new hat for Olivia with a tag that said "To Olivia, For your pretty little head." I teared up, I tell you. It was a thoughtful gift...and adorable. It fits size and in personality. Thank you so much, Kristen and Cayman.

Yesterday Kristen posted this about being Cayman's mom. I about fell over because it was exactly what I've been thinking lately.

I really feel as though I've "arrived" as a mother...especially Olivia's mother. I hardly ever have bad days about her anymore...and trust me they used to be frequent. I could go to the library and see a girl her age and just about lose my mind. There were times when just someone telling me they were pregnant with a girl would make me crumble. But not anymore. As Kristen said, it's been quite a journey and I feel that I've arrived.

I find joy in every little thing Olivia does...and you know what? I find so much joy in every little things the boys do too. Have you ever stopped to think that your "typical" son or daughter walked and talked and held utensils without much work at all? They laughed and smiled when they were "supposed" to...did you stop to notice? I hope so. I am so thankful that I have been given the gift of all of this joy. Even when she does something that makes me nuts, like take off her diaper because "Well, I peed and it was yucky" instead of just telling me she had to go, I can see the brain processes working when they weren't "supposed" to and I am so thankful.

Last night she was practicing her spelling words...she does the same words as everyone else, she just had to read them, not spell them. Do you know she was reading "city", "mice", "best" and "stop"? It was the first day that she had these words and she already could read them. This little girl who had doctors tell her Mom that she wouldn't understand what she was seeing, that she probably wouldn't talk, that she would be severely mentally retarded? It literally stops me in my tracks. And I am so thankful. The best part is that when Gabe can spell "abbreviated" and "bargaining" without a blink of an eye, I appreciate that too. I think without Olivia, I wouldn't. I think I would just be blase about the fact that my child can do these things.

Did you notice her shirt? It says "Lucky" and then at the bottom says "Can't be Beat". My Mom found it for her...and it's perfect because nobody is beating this girl down.

For all of these reasons, each day I am thankful, joyful and alive.

I really hope you'll take minute to read the lyrics and listen to this beautiful song. And every time you're having a bad moment, and especially when you're having a good moment, revel in it, breathe deep and be thankful that "I'm Alive".

I'm Alive by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews

So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.

Stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul and there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.
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