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Support is where you least expect it

Posted Aug 04 2009 7:38pm
Since we found out about my gene-positive status, I have actively tried to make sure it is not hidden. I never wanted it to be secret or for me not to be able to talk about it, as I was always afraid that by making it a secret, it would make it something to be ashamed of. I am not ashamed, it is a part of me, maybe not a part particularly but it is in me. Only a few people at work know but generally people who know me, know I carry the gene.

We have taken the same approach for IVF. We have not been shy to tell people what we are going through - we have needed people's help at various points (eg places to stay in london), and the support we have received has been really great. But one thing I have noticed is the sheer number of other couples with some kind of fertility issue. I haven't met anyone going through PGD but so many people need help in a whole variety of ways.

HD has been different because I don't know anyone with that (obviously other than my immediate family), but I know so many people a fertility issue, it continues to surprise me. And I think it's by having this open attitude, that I have found out about other people's issues. Which helps me feel normal but also helps both sides provide empathy and support for the other.

Yes, there are loads of people who get pregnant in seconds (gits!), but there's the other side of the coin too, all those people struggling for the same thing for so many different reasons. All those people we sit next to every day or who we bump into occasionally, and all those people who comment on this blog to provide support for those of us who haven't quite got there yet. But we will.

I guess the point of this post is that we are so not alone in our PGD/IVF struggles, and that if you can break down those barriers, there are a whole army of people who have been through IVF too maybe once, or twice or even four times. And it amazes that even the one's whose struggles have been the longest, can still smile and say that it will be OK. It gives me so much hope for the future for all of us.
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