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Yes Margaret, there IS a Boob Fairy!!!!!!!!!

Posted May 07 2009 9:22pm
Hey Y'all.

I've actually been feeling pretty well the last few days, for once. I've spent a lot of time with my friend Lori and my friend Jonathan. It has been beautiful outside and warm. Summer is right around the corner and I'm super excited about that. Except for one thing: my new arch nemesis, the GUT. I've spoken about this horrid new lump of lard around my middle quite a few times on here lately.

How the hell am I supposed to squeeze this body into my bikinis? Something has to change, and quickly! I plan on spending most of my summer down at the pool. And I refuse to go down there looking like this. I'm not used to having a huge belly and it's really pissing me off. If I outgrow one more pair of jeans or shorts, I think I'm going to scream until I can't breathe and pass out. The other day I put on a Small thong and 4 hours later, I had painful deep indentations in my skin from the elastic in it!!! I'm surprised I wasn't numb from the ass down!

The time is now people. My body is sending out a Fat Kid Alert that has reached the infamous level of Code "Red Twizzler." I've decided that this calls for drastic measures. YES, folks, MORE EXERCISE. I bought a mat and pilates dvd from Wal Mart. I am going to attempt to do some pilates. This, in addition to the treadmill, will hopefully help to erase some of this gut. *fingers crossed* If anyone has any suggestions of something I can do to help me tighten my stomach (aka lose this pony keg) that isn't too taxing on my breathing, please let me know.

While I may be having trouble adjusting to this new tub o' lard, there is one not so horrible side effect that I'm experiencing. My tits have become gi-normous!!!!!!! I have noticed it a bit, off and on, but I didn't realize just how much larger they are until I went out to dinner last night with Lori and her mother. As usual, my only shorts were dirty due to the fact that I only have 2 pairs of shorts that fit me now. (both bought recently b/c I outgrew all my others) Because it was so hot outside, I wanted something cool to wear, so I put on one of my favorite dresses that is both comfortable and cute. I knew that it showed a little cleavage, but hey, I was feeling good and spring is in the air, so why not show off a little, right? Well, I had no idea the surprise I was about to get. As I pulled on my dress, thankful that it still fit in the first place, I was shocked when my tits damn near popped out to blind me! THEY LOOKED HUGE!!!!!!!!!!

Floored, I was both a little self concsious and gleefully excited as I peered down at my massive cleavage in awe. The new and improved twins were here and ready to flaunted!!! And apparantly, they weren't going to take no for an answer!

So kiddies, the moral to my story is, God really DOES answer prayers! (hahahhahahah) So never stop praying! :)

I hope you are all having a great week! Stay away from that evil Swine Flu!!!!!


This is the dress that I wore last night at dinner. But, almost a year ago. lol

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